.jpg)
Becoming Whole
Relationships and sexuality are areas of life that can be beautiful or confusing, life-giving, or painful. Becoming Whole is a conversational podcast for men, women, and families seeking to draw nearer to Jesus as they navigate topics like sexual integrity, relational healing, spiritual health, and so much more.
Becoming Whole
How can this be? - Advent Series
What if the Christmas story could speak directly to your most personal struggles? Join Josh and Andrea (host of Sacred by Design Podcast) as we explore Advent through the lens of Mary's journey in the Gospel of Luke. We unpack Mary's encounter with the angel Gabriel, offering a fresh perspective on how her story can resonate with our own challenges, from unwanted sexual attractions to healing past wounds. Discover how Mary's "yes" to God can inspire us in our journey of surrender, inviting us to embrace the richness and depth that comes from trusting beyond our limitations.
We discuss the role of community support, highlighting Elizabeth's comforting presence in Mary's life, and reflect on how such relationships can bolster our own spiritual journeys. Learn creative practices to connect with Jesus, whether through a quiet walk or the simple act of coloring, and consider the power of openness in nurturing your connection with the God. Join us as we conclude with a heartfelt prayer, seeking guidance for those feeling hesitant on their spiritual journey, and inviting you to experience a life filled with unforeseen beauty and transformation.
ReMember: a night full of worship, art, dessert, stories of God’s goodness, and an opportunity to partner with Regeneration. We invite you to join us for our annual dessert Regeneration fundraiser. We’d love for you to join us, It will not be the same without you. RSVP here!
👉Men's Overcoming Lust & Temptation Devotional
👉Women 21-Day Prayer Journal & Devotional - (Women overcoming unwanted sexual Behavior)
👉Compass 21-Day Prayer Journal & Devotional - (Wives who are or have been impacted by partner betrayal)
All right. So today I'm excited about today, I hope so, andrea Smithberger and me, or Andrea Smithberger and me and I and I are here. Yes, I is here, no, we. What's the right? It's yes, I am here. So Andrea Smithberger and I are here. Yep, all right, this might. We're going to see how this goes.
Speaker 1:Today we are going to talk about so we're starting in three weeks here. We we are going to talk about, so we're starting in three weeks. Here. We're going to talk about Advent as it relates to the ministry that we do at Regen, and part of our hope with this is not just to kind of do you know because of this that? But we want to invite you kind of in a reflective, meditational way, to be considering how the good news of Christmas, how what happens at Christmas, how the incarnation actually does intersect your struggles.
Speaker 1:Whatever it is that brings you to be listening to the Becoming Whole podcast Unwanted sexual attractions of some kind or behavior that you're struggling with, or a spouse who's been unfaithful, or some past childhood wounds, or all of the above. Christmas is not just a diversion from those things. Christmas speaks right into those things, and so this week, andrea and I are going to talk about mary and so I know I've just been talking all the time, andrea. But yeah, before I read the passage initial, just give me some initial like where's your? What happens in your, in your heart, when I even say the idea that these struggles and Christmas are meant for each other.
Speaker 2:The intersection is such a good word. It just it makes sense when you sit with it just long enough. It makes sense, and the idea that we're going to be revisiting a story that is so intimate and involves so much of this woman's body. It just makes sense that we're here.
Speaker 1:Awesome, all right. So without further ado, I'm going to be reading from Luke 1. If you're listening and you want to pull out your Bible, you're that kind of person feel free. If you're driving, please don't. And I'm going to start in verse 26. So I'm going to read it a bit. I'm going to read a good 10 verses here, so just hang with me, and this will be familiar. I know that most of you have heard this before and we're in the season where you're going to hear it a lot. But but listen, even as, even as I read, listen a bit Like what does this have to do with your body?
Speaker 1:So in the sixth month of, the angel Gabriel was sent from God to a city of Galilee named Nazareth, to a virgin betrothed to a man whose name was Joseph of the house of David, and the virgin's name was Mary. And he came to her and said greetings, oh, favored one, the Lord is with you. But she was greatly troubled at the saying and tried to discern what sort of greeting this might be. And the angel said to her Do not be afraid, mary, for you have found favor with God and, behold, you will conceive in your womb and bear a son and you shall call his name Jesus. He will be great and will be called the Son of the Most High and the Lord. God will give to him the throne of his father, david, and he will reign over the house of Jacob forever and of his kingdom. There will be no end.
Speaker 1:And Mary said to the angel how will this be, since I am a virgin? And the angel answered her the Holy Spirit will come upon you and the power of the Most High will overshadow you. Therefore, the child to be born will be called Holy, the Son of God. And behold, your relative, elizabeth, is in her old age. In her old age, has also conceived a son, and this is the sixth month with her, who has been called barren, for nothing will be impossible with God. And Mary said Behold, I am the servant of the Lord. Let it be to me according to your word. And the angel departed from her. So a lot there, andrea, why don't you start? What stands out to you.
Speaker 2:Well, I wonder where people are feeling this in their body, because immediately, like my heart gets so soft and my voice gets a little shaky, my gut grips. There's a lot, there's so many things, I don't even know where to start.
Speaker 1:How can this be? Let's start here. Let's start with this. Mary's a virgin.
Speaker 1:The angel tells her you're going to have a, a baby, which is something virgins don't do. And she responds how can this be? For I'm a virgin and and I want to hear from you about this, but but it's. It jumps out at me because she talks to this angelic visitor, the angel of the Lord, about her virginity, the reality of her sexual self, and she's just bringing it right out. She doesn't just say how can this be, Because you know she says how can this be from a virgin? What do you make of that?
Speaker 2:says how can this be from a virgin? What do you make of that? I mean? Well, right off the bat, I want to just clarify that her virginity is not her goodness. There's so much more to go into there, but that does not constitute what makes her favored. That is one of the limits, so to speak, that Mary's going to address.
Speaker 2:And I want to backpedal a little bit, because this is a young woman who is engaged. Her mind is on what flowers will be at the wedding, which of her friends will be closest, what does her dress look like, what perfume she'll wear, right. And then this angel appears and says so, you're going to have a baby. And for her to say how can this be? Because she is so simply, authentically aware of her limit that she has not had sex, and she's very plain with that. And I feel right away the intersection, right of a session this morning, with a woman saying well, how can it be that God still wants to meet me? How can you say that God still wants to talk to me when, and very plain with her limitations of I can't quit porn? My thoughts about him keep bringing these feelings up in me and I need to comfort myself. Masturbation's got a grip on me.
Speaker 1:I feel like, right off the bat, this young woman, mary, is giving voice to the idea of, let me name. There is the limitation piece, and I want to ask you a little bit more about that in a minute. Sexuality my experience with, with what it means to be a sexual being in my body, is an uncomfortable part of my relationship with god, or how I expect to interact with god, whether it's I've done things and I can't imagine that he would want me choose me, come close to me. I think for a lot of people, the intensity of the desire feels so overwhelming has sent them into places where they feel so out of control that the idea of and I will even say this from my own experience I loved Jesus, was passionate for Jesus, and then other times it felt like this other thing just came over me or rose up in me and I wanted to avoid Jesus. I didn't, I didn't want him to interrupt me, I didn't want him to talk to me, and so I think in a lot of ways, I was confusing the intensity, the overwhelmed feeling that I feelings that I was experiencing with the idea that somehow God also would be overwhelmed by these things that he would, he would like, because they eclipsed my love for God for such a long time.
Speaker 1:In some ways I felt like they would eclipse his, his love for me, or hit or somehow eclipse me to him, and that's not the case there. I mean this experience with me. I appreciate you bring out that her virginity does not equal her goodness, that we're not looking at like cause, cause we don't. We also don't want listeners to say like well, but she was good, see, like like. Because for all of us in a fallen world, like we, we are very familiar and Mary would have been familiar with people around her, with her own experiences of other people's desires or their sexual expressions or whatever Like we're all aware of, of how powerful sex can be, how powerfully disruptive, disorienting can be. Yeah, god is not overwhelmed and God does not pull away from that part of us, in whatever condition it is in us.
Speaker 2:So thank God that God is not a bigger Josh, thank God it's not a bigger Andrea. That God is God and so we expect is so unexpected and that sounds cliche, but I feel like the idea of thinking that God is just going to make it a deeper red or a bigger this or whatever it is. It's so different. His ways are better than our ways. His thoughts are higher than our thoughts, but I think that what Mary does also, then if we recognize okay, god, these are my limits. Where are the places in my life that I can be asking how can this be? How can this be God? How can this be that you want to meet me? How can this be that you still want to be part of my life? And that's what is set up so well? Here is how can this be?
Speaker 1:So, listeners as you're listening and I want to do this for myself too like, what are the spaces in your life today where God's movement towards you, or his love for you, or the things that you have you believe are true sometimes, but struggle other times? Where where does that question rise up in you? How can this be? And? And instead of letting that question turn you away from God, like, maybe more like Pilate if I could throw him into the mix here a little bit when Jesus is declaring that he's the truth and Pilate says what's truth and walks away, doesn't wait, Are there ways that, are there parts of your life, parts of my life, where I really struggle to believe in God's goodness, His blessing, the fruit that he wants to bring into my life, and instead of taking that question to Him and remaining open to Him so we can even imagine Mary here looking this angel in the eye, so to speak how can this be? And then waiting.
Speaker 2:Not and waiting. So I mean backing up a little bit in the verses there. I feel like she had to have made a face, she had to have done something, something to show, like what is happening here. So I love that humanity in this also, that she did something that showed the angel. Oh, I need to comfort her right now and so asking the question and being uncomfortable, being afraid, showing that to God and waiting, yes, for the answer and waiting for that comfort.
Speaker 2:That even his messenger want to offer. That's who God is that he would want to offer that comfort that even his messenger want to offer. That's who god is that he would want to offer that comfort yeah, so where?
Speaker 1:where do you need not just the, not just to ask the question, but to the, the comfort of the lord, it's good all right, let me go ahead I could go on. The comfort of the Lord, it's good.
Speaker 2:All right, let me Go ahead. I could go on.
Speaker 1:Let me dig into it and I love it. Let me dig into this story a little bit too. One of the reasons that I light up about this story is because I am convinced that and I'm a novice at this myself, but I'm convinced that many of us Christians know about the incarnation, we believe in it, but we've never really we haven't let ourselves adequately wrestle with, with what this is really about, what this really means, like the God of the universe literally became in flesh, really literally became human, retained his Godhood somehow, but but literally became human, didn't just appear human, didn't just seem human, but became human in the intersection of Mary and and God. Here is significant in that the angel saying you will conceive. You will conceive not just, hey, we're going to borrow your womb for a little bit, you're going to be a surrogate mom, but you yourself will conceive. I mean there's literally this union between mary and the holy spirit and it's not sexual, because god's not sexual. Sexual. Our human sexuality is image. It images god, not the other way around.
Speaker 1:So there's this miraculous conception of Christ in Mary's womb, but our theology here, christian theology here, points to Jesus is in fact Mary's son. The God becomes a human woman's son. This is mind-boggling and and scandalous, wonderful, beautiful, unbelievable, like I mean certainly unbelievable, and if I could, I mean that's enough to park on. We could spend the whole time talking about that, because that that theology at the heart of that theology is our, is our, our faith, like if we don't, if we don't truly believe that, then we're not truly believing the incarnation and nothing. We have to pin down every detail. There is mystery here, for sure, but but this is how much god, god, loves us, this is how much he esteems, values our bodies.
Speaker 1:And then, and then add to that this unless, because we're focusing on mary here, not just the incarnation we're gonna come back to the incarnation a bit more in two weeks but that mary, mary's yes to the lord, her may it be done to me according to your will is a kind of surrender that is substantial, like she's not saying yes to kind of some conceptual like you know, like sometimes people think they hear from the lord like, hey, I want to, I want to do something significant in your life, you're like awesome. To kind of some conceptual. Like sometimes people think they hear from the Lord like, hey, I want to do something significant in your life. You're like awesome, great Lord, I look forward to it, see you later.
Speaker 1:And we go about our lives and kind of wait for it to happen. Mary is saying, yeah, she's opening herself, surrendering herself in a physical way that will have immediate implications for her life in a life-altering way, and not all positive, certainly not all easy. And I'm undone a bit when I think about trying to pray that kind of prayer like may it be done to me, according to your word, in that way when I get to that place, andrea. It exposes these views of God that I have where I do not trust him.
Speaker 2:Because that is a hard prayer to pray If that is the birth prayer, the laboring prayer is then how can this be?
Speaker 2:Does that make sense? How can this be, since there there's got to be such an awareness of of my limitations to be able to hand it over to a limitless god. I still hold on to my limitations, so I still I, yeah. But you know, what else is so fantastic in here is just the covering that God gives her. And if I'm going too far in a different direction, pull me back. But of Elizabeth, that Elizabeth endured the whispers because of her barrenness. She endured the whispers because of the shame of why can't she? And she was such a good woman, a faithful woman, and so to give Mary within her family somebody who's taken notes and help her, you know, be that community.
Speaker 1:We're going to dig into that next week.
Speaker 1:Yeah, Okay, yeah, I mean that's, that's so good, good but I what I hear in both those things you're talking about, like the, the labor part of, how can this be? And you point out the comfort, and you point out elizabeth, in all those there is this generosity of god. It's not all on mary's shoulders. She, her yes mattered for sure it mattered. And and god, god, was gentle and comforting and gave room for her questions and provided support for her.
Speaker 1:And I think about like so, for those men and women listening who are wrestling with something bodily, wrestling, wrestling with something sexual, where might God be saying to you and where might you find in yourself resistance to? May it be done to me, according to your word, in the area of your sexuality Is part of your habit. Has Christ been inviting you to give something up or to put some limitations on access to your devices? Has he been inviting you to give something up or to put some limitations on access to your devices? Has he been inviting you or urging you towards telling somebody else about what you're struggling with? Has he been asking you for access, knocking at the door of an old memory that's hard to go to because it's painful, and just saying can we go there together, in any of those areas where you might find yourself going. I don't know that I am willing to trust you there. I'm not sure I'm really willing to give up control there.
Speaker 1:Where might Mary's prayer be instructive or invitational to you in coming back to the Lord? Yeah, so let me just pause there, andrea. What's kicking up?
Speaker 2:The according to your word, so often in meeting with clients and knowing my life according to your word is not, is maybe what we say but not what we're believing. So, according to your word, but also according to my plan and my timeline, and what I think freedom looks like, I think freedom looks like this surrender is opening mind, body and heart. Yes, mary, thank you for that picture of opening and allowing her body, her filled, according to his word. So I think so often we, especially men and women struggling with sexual addiction, is it will look this way, it will feel this way, I'll be rid of this Instead of being filled up with something more. It's a shift in perspective with what healing, with what this newness that we're looking for can look like and feel like.
Speaker 1:Does that make sense? Yeah, so there's a same more about the being filled up, though. So I'm struggling with porn. I'm struggling with hooking up with my girlfriend, my boyfriend. I have been doing this, and what we read here that Mary's doing invites me into what differently as far as that being filled up, what do you hear in that? What are you seeing there?
Speaker 2:It's so often black and white, turn on, turn off, and it's so limited in our thinking, when maybe freedom looks like seeing bluebirds, when maybe freedom and newness of life feels like experiencing million-dollar bacon in an old-fashioned, with good friends around a bonfire. Dollar bacon in an old-fashioned, with good friends, around a bonfire. Maybe there's just so much of a fullness to life Turning off a sexual habit or saying no to a sexual habit is one piece, but there's so much more color and vibrancy to life that we are being invited to An entire new life for Mary. An entire new life for Mary, yeah, entire new life for Mary. Yeah, and it's not easy. And she did not walk away. She could have had Jesus and skipped out. She stayed, she stayed, she stayed and she stayed. So, yeah, I feel like her invitation here is also to consider more than the black and white, the on and off.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, I love that. Yeah, I mean lest we forget that her yes meant this one-of-a-kind, unique intimacy with the savior of the world, this, this, this king who would reign on the throne of david into eternity. Like whatever else you believe about mary, she literally, physically, has a different relationship with the lord than than anyone in all of history. And because she said yes, so what else? What else might your yes to get? For all that, it feels like you're saying no to, and yes to God does mean no to some other things. Yes to pregnancy for anybody means saying no to some other things, but you have no idea what your yes is going to bring, and with Christ involved, you can't even know the magnitude.
Speaker 2:I can't, I mean I can't, I can't. There's so much it's so colorful so mean I can't eat I can't. There's so much. It's so colorful, so beautiful, so textural, the life of abundance that God is calling us to. It's not just some yes or no, it's so much more.
Speaker 1:It's so much. Oh, I love it. I'm so glad I asked you to be part of this, because I forget that part of the story, like I think, oh, yep, she gave up a lot, oh, it's going to be scandal, oh, it's going to be, you know, division. People are going to look down on her, people are going to gossip, which is crazy, because I, like, in my desire to like dig into thinking about Mary, I forget about Jesus. She's not just carrying a baby, she is a literal, real baby who is Jesus. And yeah, yeah, she is a literal, real baby who is jesus. And yeah, yeah, all right, so I'm gonna land this plane here a little bit. Let me just offer a couple of these and, andre, I want you to jump in.
Speaker 1:Uh, what do we do when we find out in this journey that we are either resisting god, saying yes to him, um, in some way, as we're trying to break free from our sins, or we think he's leading us in a certain way, and or when we experience, we think we're running up to some of our limits and and we're kind of like capping out there and thinking that, you know, we have that kind of how. Can this be one of the things that stirs in me, as you're kind of going through, the comfort and the, the space and the ability to ask questions is number one. We're kind to ourselves. God is kind to us. We can be kind to ourselves.
Speaker 1:We do not need to beat ourselves up when we discover that we don't believe that God can break through our limits and when we don't believe that we can say yes. That's not a place to beat ourselves up. That is a place to remain, to ask, to open ourselves and seek his presence, his grace, to help us with that. People have heard me say this before. I'll say it again Like one of my favorite prayers. In all the scriptures in the New Testament, a father prays it and when Jesus is talking about the importance of faith, he says I do believe, help me in my unbelief.
Speaker 1:This is that staying there thing, not like, oh, I guess I'm disqualified, but like I do do believe, help my unbelief. And then I would also say how important it is because this has just been helpful for me.
Speaker 1:When I find myself running into spaces where I I'm struggling just to trust god where it's I am, I'm either saying the words let it be done to me according to your word or to your will, and I notice that I'm dissociating from that, like not really like there's something in me that's kind of like pulling back inwardly, even though I'm saying it, honoring me, honoring him with his, my lips, hearts far from him when I find myself there or or I find myself unable to utter the words in a certain area, like let it be done to me according to your word, like that too has been a space of like, viewing that as invitation from him, like if I recognize that's happening, I can recognize it because he's letting me know it's happening and that's opportunity for me to to remain open or to seek to open myself to him.
Speaker 1:I can't give him a big yes. Let me give him a small yes, like even the yes of I'm going to stay here for a minute with you. Lord, I noticed this, I acknowledge this with the hope that he will come in as much, in a small way, that will grow, if I can use that the pregnancy as a metaphor there. So those would be two of my takeaways, and I know there are a lot more here, but, yeah, any final words from you, andrea, about how this intersects our folks listening.
Speaker 2:Because it is so bodily. The intersection of for nothing will be impossible with God and may be done to me according to your word. There's a reaching down from heaven and a reaching up from Mary and there's that intersection or the grasping of hands of just an agreement, like, okay, I'm doing this with you, but to me, immediately I'm like, do you need to stretch your way to understanding? May be done according to your word. Do you need to walk your way, meet your way, color your way, sing your way, meet your way, color your way, sing your way to understanding your limits, to remaining, to being kind to yourself.
Speaker 2:That story goes on to Mary's song where she's praising God and Hannah does the same thing in 1 Samuel and it just shows, like it's an invitation to echo that song that we can keep singing Like what a beautiful example even there. So the questions are so good. How can this be? Where am I asking? How can this be? Being afraid and making a face about it and letting God know right and stretching for that intersection? Nothing's impossible with God. Unexpectedly unexpected.
Speaker 1:I love it All right. So, friends, as you're listening, one final, just invitation for you. Two final invitations. One is practice that prayer. Can you pray these prayers to the Lord, whether it it's a how can this be for an area where you're really wrestling with unbelief? Or and or may be done to me according to your word, and stay with the lord, with those, and see what happens. It's a beautiful, beautiful exercise.
Speaker 1:Second invitation is our team is here and so if something's perking your, your interest, or you're finding yourself going like how do I do that? Like Like Andrea was talking about, like taking a walk or color coloring with it, like how does that work? Like there are a lot of, there are a million different ways, gentle ways to, to, to move towards Jesus with these things, so you are not stuck because he is able. So, lord, we just pray for that. We pray for anybody listening who's feeling stuck, able. So, lord, we just pray for that. We pray for anybody listening who's feeling stuck how can this be? Or is feeling resistant to give you their will in this area of their lives. Lord, come closer and pray that for me and Andrea too, in the name of the Father, son and Holy Spirit, amen.
Speaker 2:Amen.
.png)
