.jpg)
Becoming Whole
Relationships and sexuality are areas of life that can be beautiful or confusing, life-giving, or painful. Becoming Whole is a conversational podcast for men, women, and families seeking to draw nearer to Jesus as they navigate topics like sexual integrity, relational healing, spiritual health, and so much more.
Becoming Whole
Pursuing Goodness : Reclaiming the senses
Welcome back to the Becoming Whole podcast! Join Aaron Tagert, men's spiritual coach, and Andrea Smithberger, host of the Sacred by Design podcast, as they dive into week two of our 'Pursuing Goodness' mini-series. In this episode, we explore the idea of 'Reclaiming Our Senses' and how the enemy attempts to steal, kill, and destroy the goodness in our lives. Tune in for an enriching conversation that encourages you to slow down and embrace the inherent goodness God has placed within you.
ReMember: a night full of worship, art, dessert, stories of God’s goodness, and an opportunity to partner with Regeneration. We invite you to join us for our annual dessert Regeneration fundraiser. We’d love for you to join us, It will not be the same without you. RSVP here!
👉Men's Overcoming Lust & Temptation Devotional
👉Women 21-Day Prayer Journal & Devotional - (Women overcoming unwanted sexual Behavior)
👉Compass 21-Day Prayer Journal & Devotional - (Wives who are or have been impacted by partner betrayal)
Welcome back to the Becoming Whole podcast. We are in our second week of pursuing our Pursuing Goodness miniseries to start the new year, and today we're going to be discussing reclaiming our senses. My name is Aaron Taggart, I'm one of our men's spiritual coaches and our unwanted intensive guide at Regen, and I am joined today by the amazing Andrea Smithberger, host of the Sacred by Design podcast and one of our women's spiritual coaches at Regen. Welcome in, andrea.
Speaker 2:Thank you, Aaron. The awesome Aaron and amazing Andrea Are people ready?
Speaker 1:Ready or not, here we go Super excited for this conversation today, so let's go ahead and jump in here. As we talk about reclaiming our senses, john 10 came to mind that we read about this enemy that you and me and and, frankly, everyone listening has, that he is out to steal, kill and destroy all the good in our life. And that's such a small verse in that passage, but the implications are so weighty, aren't they? Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1:And he's coming for our senses. Yeah, he is coming for our senses in so many ways. He has already, especially for those who wrestle with unwanted sexual behavior he's already attacked and tried to steal and destroy the goodness of our senses. Not to steal and destroy the goodness of our senses. And there's a quote from CS Lewis that I really love. I think that goes really well with this, and CS Lewis says that badness is only spoiled goodness and that there must be something good first before it can be spoiled. Oh yeah, wow, good first, before it can be spoiled.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah, wow Right, I mean, the enemy cannot, he can't create, so he can only take what already exists and try to kind of turn it on its head or turn it against us, or yeah, that's how he kind of comes at us. Yeah, what's stirring in you right now?
Speaker 2:Well, right away, I think of our listeners and that maybe the idea of inherent goodness doesn't feel right for them, that maybe they've been disqualified from it. So, as we are pursuing goodness, we're pursuing something that is already part of who we are. And if we're pursuing goodness, let's acknowledge the way that Satan pursues our goodness through our senses. And so Satan wants to rob you of your sense of taste. He does. He wants to destroy your sense of touch, and he probably already has. He's coming for your sight. Satan is after our senses. We are created as sensual beings, and that is a good thing. That is part of our goodness, and so that has been spoiled. Whether it's trauma, whether it's exposure to pornography, whether it's a pattern and addiction with pornography and masturbation, whether it's infidelity, some sort of hurt has spoiled that goodness and Satan's after it. Songs can become a trigger. Right Cologne can become a trigger.
Speaker 1:He's coming for it. Yeah, yeah, and I think that's an important part of this too. Is that right? Sensuality is really about the senses, and yet the enemy has kind of brought this over-eroticized sense to sensuality. So when we hear the word sensual or sensuality, so many of us automatically go to kind of the sexual, and that is part of sensual. Don't get me wrong. But I think the way that the enemy works here to kind of steal, kill and destroy, is that he almost kind of tries to reorder things in a way where it's like the sexual becomes more important, or, you know, he just kind of thwarts the goodness. That kind of even leads to some of the good sexuality.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah. And he, you know, coming to claim our senses. He can make a touch feel like off limits because it's dirty, so sexuality, he can make a touch feel like off limits because it's dirty, so sexuality. This good, beautiful design for sexuality is attacked, even through something that we think is so basic to our design as human beings. So it's good to be aware, really good to be aware.
Speaker 1:Yeah, really good to be aware. Yeah, in genesis, one after god makes man and woman, he calls this new creation very good. And I, and I love, I love that, like he doesn't call the sun and the stars very good, he doesn't call, you know, earth and and the water and the space very good, he makes man and woman and he calls man and woman very good. And so again back to just with the sensuality and our senses being a part of that, that we are created very good in God's eyes and there are things that he really wants us to experience pleasure and delight in. And I think that you know it really highlights it. Yeah, it just highlights that desire he has for that delight and pleasure, like he. He created us that way in on purpose. Like he created us that way on purpose. What does this passage kind of stir in you, andrea, when we think about the ways that you know he has created us?
Speaker 2:Well, I love that we're going to the very beginning, because there's no denying our goodness, because there's no denying our goodness and when we go to the very beginning, we see and learn about our God, who is creative, who loves color and texture and pattern and taste. I mean, have you seen a giraffe? Our God is creative and he's playful and it's all good and he calls it all good and he blesses our senses through creation, which is his initial gift. So, to look, to notice, to be aware of everything that he's given us around us, and then to hear how, when he created his very first son and daughter and called us very good that is the starting point, that's the meat of this conversation is, okay, we know what Satan's coming for, but why is he coming for it? Oh, because from square one, from the very first moment of any of our beings being a being, we are good. Our God calls us good. Yeah, we can't forget that.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and you know, there's nothing we've done, there's nothing that Adam and Eve had done at that point. And God says this is very good. Yeah, yeah, right, it's not like they had to. They didn't even try, like they didn't achieve anything. They hadn't done anything. Yeah, like he. Just he creates man and woman. And I almost just kind of get this picture of him leaning back and just like, oh, that is very good.
Speaker 2:If God were you awesome, he'd be like there it is.
Speaker 1:Yeah, exactly, this is awesome, yeah, and it just like stewing on that a little bit, you know. I mean, I think God also it's not just them as a physical, as a as a physical being, I think it's also what he has in store for them, his intention for them right To, to multiply, to cultivate, to name to, to be caretakers of the garden, you know, all of these things they're kind of tasked with. There's also really some some deep enjoyment in that and I'm starting to think about them in the garden and the, the different plants and animals and trees and colors and and all of these things. I mean it must have just been not sensory overload, because you know they like everything was very good, right so, and but just the scent, like I just get a picture of them so captivated in in all of the things that they're seeing and smelling the movement through the air, the crawling of the animals, the, it's every single one of our senses.
Speaker 2:And the thing is, is that satan, even from the get-go, slithers in right and he attacks Adam and Eve's senses and he tastes this different thing, hear this different story, consider this differently. And I feel like for our listeners, for these men and women who struggle with unwanted sexual behavior, we're so quick to shut down. Our addictions and our habits come from a place of maybe distracting, avoiding, numbing out, and then, all of a sudden, our reflex is to then shut down, to put the blinders on, to shroud ourselves very differently. But God never says cover yourself and close your eyes and cover your ears.
Speaker 2:He asks where are you? He asks who told you that? Who told you that? And I feel like those questions can be really good, as we're considering pursuing our goodness, reclaiming our senses, to say huh, where am I? Where am I right now? And who told me that I'm dirty? Who told me that I will only amount to this? Who told me that men are only this, that women are only that? Who told me that? And I feel like wrestling and sitting with those questions some is a really great way to be like and also remembering how very good you are meant to be and you are, that that can be a power move in your unwanted sexual behavior and understanding and also moving differently.
Speaker 2:Yeah, unpack that a little bit more. The power move. I like, yeah, it seems so strategic, right, with John 10.10 saying okay, we know that Satan comes to steal, kill and destroy. All right, he comes to, but he does not always get to. And he does not always get to when we understand, God says I'm very good. When we understand this punk is coming to kill, steal and destroy, but I am very good and I have eyes that see, ears that hear, a mouth that tastes, a nose that smells, a body that moves and feels.
Speaker 2:What can I do differently? Well, I can ask where am I, when am I right now? And like even my voice. I feel like J-string are so good at this right, this curiosity and kindness, that you elevate your voice instead of being like, well, here you are again, here we go again, this is who you are, and instead of being like, oof, where are you? Where are you? Who told you that? That is, that's a power move. Satan comes, but he doesn't always get get to, especially when we slow down and remember and ask some questions yeah, yeah, that's so good and even like, even getting us just to think less of like being very good.
Speaker 1:You know, like I'm just I, you know he kind of tolerates me, you know, or you know, I think you know that's real. You know, I know I've felt that way, you know, before my own journey, and I know, you know so many probably, you know, resonate with that and even that starts to feel like, oh, like you know, and that's what the enemy wants, right.
Speaker 2:He wants us to feel so much less than everything god has intended for us you know, yeah boo, I say boo, they got a princess bride here I digress right there, yes, right to the enemy.
Speaker 1:Well, let's come back to John 10. Yeah right, like there is so much more, there's so much abundance here in John 10. It's easy just to kind of think about this. One powerful verse that you know talks about what the enemy is after. But let's you know. But we're talking about reclaiming the senses, right? So let's pull out some really great stuff here from John 10. What is something that really tugs at you when you read through John 10 in light of our senses?
Speaker 2:Hmm, Well, I think you were even talking about it when we were talking about Genesis 1 and how not sensory overload, but how captivating that was. Like we cannot even imagine, we can't right what it would have felt like to be surrounded by, I mean, the animals, the birdsong, the trees, the aromas of creation at its very beginning, and I love the message version of that second part of John 10.10. I came so you can have real and eternal life, more and better life than you ever dreamed of. Like, are you sure? Are you sure that's for me? Are you sure that's for me? And God says, yeah, it is, it is for you and so for me it brings back the questions again.
Speaker 1:Okay, so where are you? Where are you, Andrea? Why are you discrediting yourself? And what's holding you back from even considering that this is for me? What about you? Yeah, so a couple of things, you know. One thing that really stands out to me, too, is that this phrase that the Lord says here I am the good shepherd. So there's the sense, too, that there's also a bad shepherd. And if that's the case, and who are? Who are we allowing to shepherd us in our senses?
Speaker 2:Right, people can't see us, so my eyes just got real big.
Speaker 1:Yeah, like he is the good shepherd you know, again get us to kind of think counter to all that the Lord has intended with our sensuality and our senses and the way we experience them and the joy and the light. And also, you know, as I look in here too and it's easy to come across it, the sheep hear my voice. So there's the I would say, the sense of hearing right and sound, and that they know him by his voice and so in a way it's just, you know, kind of elevates this hearing, like in this past time. And the sheep also have eyes. They need to be able to see where they're going right. So this good shepherd is leading them.
Speaker 1:The sheep are seeing and they're hearing his voice. The sheep are seeing and they're hearing his, his voice, and they know in that instance that all is all as well. They will follow that shepherd because they know they can trust him, because they have seen where he takes them and they know that his voice leads them into into life, where the where that bad shepherd isn't leading the sheep right, I mean, he doesn't even come in through the gate, he jumps over the fence, he poses a threat to the sheep, and so I think that's some of the things that come up for me, just thinking about the senses and even just those images here of the sheep, and it also, you know that begins to bring up, too for me, psalm 23.
Speaker 2:Oof yeah.
Speaker 1:Right, like some really beautiful imagery there, but again being this kind of idea of like a sheet being made to lie down in a green pasture, right, knowing again that this green path you're taking this in the sites that you know talks about still water. So you can picture these things and I'm a I'm a backpacker, so I love like nature and coming upon, like you know, coming down kind of into a valley, you know, after maybe we've summited or wherever that might be, along our kind of path, and then just seeing this meadow and this wilderness and the wind blowing through these wildflowers and the trees and hearing those things and the sound of a brook or that mountain, mountain water stream, you know I start to get these kind of images of this you know just being made to be still and lie down in in a setting kind of like that. You know everything's safe. You can just take in the senses, you know what can you take in?
Speaker 2:Yes, the imagination is really good here, more than we ever dreamed. And here's the imagination. I love the part of Psalm 23,. You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies, with clients. I will be like all right, let's set the table. What color is that tablecloth? What flowers have to be there? Is there wine? Are there lemons? Is it a dessert table? You know what is it that feeds your senses? Set that table and know that that is what the Lord is wanting to set with you and to play in your imagination a little bit that way of well, I love this, or this makes me feel good, or I remember loving this. That's a sweet way to set the table and be caught up in this abundance that the Lord wants to offer us.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and it's hard to think and not think of a table and just all of the, something like maybe Thanksgiving or just like all of this, this beautiful spread, all of the something like maybe thanksgiving or just like all just this beautiful spread, all of the, the smells. Louis giglio has a book called don't give the enemy a seat at your table, and it's about psalm 23 and he even goes as far as he talks about like the table. It, our reservation at that table is the most expensive reservation that we'll ever have because of Jesus. Yeah, and if he's willing to go that far so that we can experience the delight and the joy, the table, the smells, the sights, the taste, there's really something to that.
Speaker 2:So how do you settle into that, Settle in at that table? You pursue your goodness through your senses. Matter matters to the Lord and that's evident through Jesus walking this earth wearing sandals, scratchy robes, talking with friends, breaking bread, eating bread, making wine, and he legitimizes our senses in a really profound and detailed way.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, yeah. Jay Stringer says that every day, if we pay attention, god solicits us to simple experiences of sensuality. Right, simple, like you know, are you? But are you seeing it? Are you hearing it? Are you tasting it? Are you hearing it? Are you tasting it? Are you living it? Right, he's also.
Speaker 1:He goes on to say essentiality is about opening our bodies to being present, aroused and influenced by the world around us.
Speaker 1:If we do not feel wonder and I love that word wonder at the flight of a hummingbird and I don't know if you ever had one buzz by you and just this is like the, I can't even mimic, I know the sound, it's just incredible. Yeah, this, this buzz, and they're so stinking fast, but they can, they just pause almost like in midair, and we get to see that and and hear that, right, but so if we can't, if we can't feel a wonder of the flight of a hummingbird or an eagle, he says, or at the scent of mint, how will we even begin to feel the stunning sensuality of sex or our sexuality? And so, again, just this idea of these kind of simple everyday experience. We have them every single day and it's almost like we can sleepwalk, like we can be maybe present, but not fully present, not really see things the way they are or the way they're meant to be, and so there's like this kind of shadow between us, and you know what's really there.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so this is where we've got to talk about how you do this in real life.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, absolutely.
Speaker 2:Because, I mean, jay ushered us right in. So thank you Jay, thank you Aaron, but I have a lot of kids so I watch a lot of animated features and right away I think of Inside Out and just like those core memories.
Speaker 1:Yeah, oh my gosh.
Speaker 2:Right. And so if you haven't seen it, maybe you should see it. People, but the idea of the core memory, to me I feel like the practice of grounding. Last night my family, we were having a conversation about joy. I have kids, five kids ranging in age from 22 to 11. And the conversation was loud and quiet and it was a lot, and I planted my feet on the ground. Is that step one of grounding?
Speaker 2:And you go through each one of your senses and I'm not going to get teary, I'm not going to do it. I might, but I'm not Okay Looking around at the faces at the table and noticing each one of my kids and how different they look, and the light on the Christmas tree behind John, and then touch, feeling Winnie, my dog, her head resting on my lap because I feel like she could sense that I was taking it all in and she's crazy, but she's a good little empath. Smelling the candles we have the Advent candles burning, hearing their voices, Tasting I made Rocky Road Christmas fudge. What? That's a whole other thing. But so I locked in and this core memory through grounding was planting my feet and going what can I see right now? What am I tasting right now? What do I hear? What am I smelling? What am I hearing?
Speaker 2:Each one of your senses, just one thing. But taking the time to plant your feet and go through your senses is tomorrow can look like tomorrow. We don't even know. Yesterday's gone. We have fright now. So, in a moment of beauty, in a moment of chaos, in a moment of struggle, in a moment of oh, this is really good, I'm feeling really good. What a gift to plant your feet right there and engage your senses and pursue your goodness right there. So grounding is huge. Practically Do you do it?
Speaker 1:Yeah, I do, and it also it's something I do with clients, sometimes as well. Have you ever done that? Oh yeah, five four, three, two, one yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and so those of you listening aren't aware of that. It's naming five things that you can see, kind of right, wherever you're at. If you're outside, if you're in an office, you know it doesn't matter, like, wherever you're at, what are five things that you see? Four things that you can touch right, three things that you can hear, two things that you can smell and one thing that you can taste and for for me that's coffee right now could taste that. But so, just again, it's this there's something about doing that and the grounding that just slows you down, that helps you get present with your own physical body, your being to be able to see and to name. And I think that's why I like grounding so much is because I think, just as a culture and as people, I just think we are so prone the hustle and bustle and go and do more and go from this thing to the next thing.
Speaker 1:I used to live in Washington DC and you know we moved out, you know into Maryland and this, the pace of life is night and day and what that's done, I think, just for me in particular, but I know my wife and family as well. But the slowing down really creates that opportunity and, as you were talking about the table and your family and just thinking like how present those things can be when the table forces us to slow down, you know, thinking again about just like the that, that that the reservation price, the table, like there's something so sweet about the slowing down, right Cause right back in the Psalm 23,. You know that we're made to lie down, to slow down, to take in, to look around, and I think that's. I think that's really beautiful and I think that's really beautiful and I think that's helpful. You had also mentioned something about body, skin. Do you want to talk a little bit about that?
Speaker 2:Yeah, I'm even thinking about whoever's listening right now, that, as Erin or I said the word goodness and that it does apply to you If maybe your heart tightened a little bit or there was a squeezing in your belly or your fists got real tight. A body scan is an opportunity to pay attention to what you're feeling and where you're feeling it. I will, with clients and myself and my family, draw out it looks like a gingerbread man outline, right, it's just very simple arms, legs and a head. And if something's coming up, where are you feeling that shame, where are you feeling that tension? And then get in and label it on the little body outline and not only that, but even give it some color.
Speaker 2:Like this is a deep red or a jagged line to show that it and give it some words like this is prickly. This is very flooding. Kurt Thompson says you got to name it, to tame it. When you can put words to wear on your body, you're feeling and sensing things. What a gift to yourself to be able to engage your senses and your words, to reclaim.
Speaker 1:I love that, yeah, so important, yeah, just being that heightened awareness of what's going on in our body and again, just, I think, experiencing the goodness of senses and and when, when, yeah, when, maybe, when maybe there is that kind of trigger but we don't experience the sense the way maybe we want to. We see something that makes us think of something else, or a wound or trauma or what you said earlier, a smell. We smell something and it brings back memories and that's real, but I think that it's, you know, that happens when we allow ourselves again to slow down and do something like you know a body scan, you know which, you know something that we can, you know, do you know, in coaching or you know, with, with some kind of guidance from from somebody else, to help us kind of draw back kind of into ourselves and into our bodies, right, I think another really great way is play. I'm a father of four and my kids always want to do, you know, some sort of game or which normally you know is like monster, where I chase them around the house, and so there's the yells and the screaming and the giggling and you know, feel the floor and different things, right, and so even in something like play, like play is is so important.
Speaker 1:And Stuart Brown wrote a book called play how it shapes the brain, opens the imagination and invigorates the soul how it shapes the brain, opens the imagination and invigorates the soul. And he says that when we stop playing, we start dying. Right, when we stop playing, we start dying. And and to me that's just, there's so much power in that because, again, just even that description of running around with the kids and that type of thing and you know, I know at some point they'll be 22 and out of the house and I'm not, you know, I don't have the opportunity to play monster, you know, whatever else that they want to play, right, but there is just something that happens, like when we experienced that, like their delight and the delight in just the connection and, uh, and those different things in golf, like I love golf, like I you know I would join the PGA if I could.
Speaker 1:I play every single day, I love it, I love being outside and it is like one of my primary, when it's warm out, one of my primary ways of self-care. And so, as we talk about the importance of how we do some of these, self-care is so important, especially when it comes to our senses and so being outside and a number of different courses that I've gotten to play, but the, you know the sway and the flag on the green blowing, there's just so much to take in and golf is one of those games that it's played over several hours, so it is a slow game. It just allows the promotion of taking in. You know something like that. So I think play is really important when it comes to self-care, when it comes to our senses and there's, we just show, it just changes how we can, how we show up and how we can engage the world and and really see and appreciate, you know, what, what the Lord's made and what he calls good, that we can experience that.
Speaker 2:Yeah, golf is so not fun to me or fun, I'd rather hit pickleball, just because it's and I don't know the rules, the kitchen, all that ball-y, but it is so fun to just and it's quick. But there's so many different forms of play, telestrations like a board game, silent, let's go oh yeah, yeah, there's so many games, right.
Speaker 1:I mean this is like you know we could go on and on about all the different types of games, right, the different senses that, the different games kind of. You know maybe tap, maybe tap into. But all that to say, you know play, grounding, you know just that, really taking things in, you know body scanning, all really important ways to to really slow down. I think that's the big takeaway for me, it's just the slowing down, the need to slow down to get kind of back into our bodies. You know that we don't down to get kind of back into our bodies. You know that we don't just live in this kind of out-of-body experience, like we have these beautiful bodies that God says are very good and wants us to experience the fullness of that goodness.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and you know for what Aaron and I are saying? We believe it and we are living this and we're trying every day and I pray. I hope that this conversation, these ideas, these practical tips are an invitation for a holy interruption, for what feels like a cycle, what feels predictable, what feels like a cycle, what feels predictable that there's an abundance that's beyond the predictable. That we are inviting you to, because of what the Lord has invited us to. We say yes to that seat at the table.
Speaker 1:Yeah, amen to that. Well, listen, as we get ready to wrap up, some of the things we talked about today again, some of these things we do through coaching we talked about today again, some of these things we do through coaching and definitely encourage anyone listening who struggles with their senses or thinking that they're good, or those types of things, to, you know, maybe, you know, reach out for a coaching session. You know we do. You know free initial consultations and we'll see where it goes from there, you know. But that comes to mind for sure, as just a really great way to kind of step into this in a safe way, to begin to maybe work towards getting back to, you know, that embodiment of the good and of the senses as we talk about reclaiming them. So, andre, I'm going to give you the final word and then I want to pray us out.
Speaker 2:Final word, oof. There's a lot of pressure on that one, but I feel like we are created on purpose, with purpose, and our senses are a delightful and amazing way to engage in our goodness. And so we have put together this scripture sandwich of John 10, genesis 1 through 3, and wrapping up with John 10 again, and we hope that you feast on it, and we hope that these practical tips yes, of grounding, body scan play are wonderful invitations to consider pursuing goodness because, my goodness, you are worthy, worthy, worthy goodness because, my goodness, you are worthy, worthy, worthy, yeah, come on.
Speaker 1:Well, abba, father, we just thank you for this opportunity to hear from you, lord, about our senses, how you've designed us, lord, how you've intended us to experience our sensuality, lord, that it's from you and that it's good, and we just ask you to be with each listener, andrea, myself, lord, in the ways that we experience our senses. Lord, help us to slow down, help us to see you, lord, to hear you like those sheep, and to know, lord, that you are good, that you are the good shepherd. And so we ask for your shepherding, lord, into our senses and embodying that. We ask these things in Christ's name, amen.
Speaker 2:Amen. Thank you, Aaron.
Speaker 1:Thank you.
.png)
