Becoming Whole
Relationships and sexuality are areas of life that can be beautiful or confusing, life-giving, or painful. Becoming Whole is a conversational podcast for men, women, and families seeking to draw nearer to Jesus as they navigate topics like sexual integrity, relational healing, spiritual health, and so much more.
Becoming Whole
Pursuing Goodness : Godly Self-care
Welcome to the final week of the Pursuing Goodness mini-series on the Becoming Whole podcast! This episode we talk about how godly self care is essential for anyone seeking healing and wholeness from sexual and relational brokenness. Join Aaron Tagert and Kyle Bowman as they explore why many struggle with self-care, how shame and deprivation play a role, and practical ways to implement self-care in physical, mental, and spiritual aspects.
Resources discussed in this episode
- “Learning to care for our inner worlds (our thoughts, emotions, and inward experiences) in an ongoing way is the life-sustaining self-care that we need.” Janice McWilliams
- Restore My Soul: Reimagining Self-Care for a Sustainable Life Janice McWilliams
- Examen https://www.ignatianspirituality.com/ignatian-prayer/the-examen/how-can-i-pray/
- Unwanted by Jay Stringer
ReMember: a night full of worship, art, dessert, stories of God’s goodness, and an opportunity to partner with Regeneration. We invite you to join us for our annual dessert Regeneration fundraiser. We’d love for you to join us, It will not be the same without you. RSVP here!
👉Men's Overcoming Lust & Temptation Devotional
👉Women 21-Day Prayer Journal & Devotional - (Women overcoming unwanted sexual Behavior)
👉Compass 21-Day Prayer Journal & Devotional - (Wives who are or have been impacted by partner betrayal)
Welcome back to the Becoming Whole podcast. We're in the final week of our Pursuing Goodness miniseries to start this new year, and today we're going to discuss a topic that, quite honestly, is essential in an individual's journey towards healing and wholeness from sexual and relational brokenness, that being godly self-care. My name is Aaron Taggart, I'm one of our men's spiritual coaches and our unwanted intensive guide at Region, and I am joined today by the amazing Kyle Bowman, who serves as our DC Metro Director and a frequent voice on the Sacred by Design podcast. Welcome in, kyle.
Speaker 2:Hello Aaron, so glad to be with you today.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I'm really looking forward to this conversation and just feel like this is such an important topic and, as we talk about pursuing goodness and we started the series off by talking about leaning into grief and lament and reclaiming our senses and how helpful those things are in pursuing goodness our topic today is helpful as well, but so many people on a recovery journey struggle with practicing godly self-care. So I want to jump in and unpack a little bit. Why do you think that is? Why do you think that so many people struggle with this kind of concept of self-care?
Speaker 2:that so many people struggle with this kind of concept of self-care. Well, I think, when self-care can sound selfish, right, people can think I've got to do all of that I need to do before I can, to take care of my issue before I can even think about self-care. Right, I've got to take care of this thing first. It's like life has to be right in that area first, and then I can take care of myself without really understanding and knowing that self-care has the ability to really transform your recovery process, really transform your recovery process. I think it can make temptation less intense. I think it can help you make better decisions when temptation comes and it may even be a catalyst into moving through your recovery at a really good pace, where you don't feel like, oh, it's been years and years and years and years and years and I'm still stuck here. This caring for yourself can help, I think, propel you through your recovery process.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I love that, that kind of idea you're sharing there about the pace and even like if an individual finds himself in a, in a place where they're kind of stuck, maybe not progressing the way they want to or the way they maybe you know hopes, and I think you know when I, when I kind of take a step back and think about that, you know I, I really think about this word deprivation, that that Jay Stringer talks about, and and unwanted, and and that's not necessarily unique to to to Jay Stringer talks about and unwanted, and that's not necessarily unique to to to Jay Stringer and his work.
Speaker 1:But this concept of deprivation, right, depriving oneself of something that you know they might need but they don't feel like they deserve, yes, right. And so I think you know what we're saying here is like in in this journey, there's a sense that you know that I just, you know I don't deserve it. You know I've done, you know X, y and Z and and there's a lot of shame in that. And you know Jay says in unwanted that those who struggle with addictive behaviors struggle with deprivation and tend to ignore issues of self-care. And that goes back to our stories and if we have known shame and abandonment in our stories, then we are less likely to believe that we deserve good care. So there's a lot of kind of roadblock, right?
Speaker 2:Well, yeah, for sure, and it can feel like, especially, I think, in our culture, because we hear about how our culture is so consumed with self that we go well, that's not going to be me. I'm not going to be consumed with myself, I am going to take me, I'm not going to be consumed with myself, I am going to, you know, take it on the chin and I'm gonna, you know, do the things right with, okay, luke, right and luke 923, pick up your cross, deny yourself right and not really thinking about what that truly means in terms of recovery.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah. So I want to bring back shame up here. You know the power of shame and self-care. You know there's a sense of you know we have to face. We have to face that shame at some point, otherwise it just kind of continues to have this stronghold over that progression. Right, that even the just the belief of getting to a place where you can believe that you deserve self-care. You know, because we do, and it's so critically important that that we do that.
Speaker 1:And so there's this really beautiful analogy that Jay uses in unwanted, and it's from shark week, believe it or not. And there's a renowned shark videographer named Andy Casagrande and he was asked a question about you know, what do you do? And you know you're, you're in there with like just the craziest sharks, and what do you do when one comes at you? His response was well, you swim at it with the camera. Now I, I can only imagine in that moment, like I'm not swimming at a shark, like with a camera, I'm like you know what's the quickest way out of this water? You know, and jesus helped me walk on it, I don't know, but but there's something about you know, there's he does what's unexpected in the shark, you know, thinks that he's prey until he swims at the shark.
Speaker 1:And there's this, you know, sense is this quote? He says that if you act like, if you don't act like prey, they don't treat you like prey, right? Right, if we face our shame and we don't let it be the thing that scares us and keeps us held back, then there's, there's this maybe unlocking that can take place in a in that progression, being, you know, being able to see that you know we do deserve self-care, that we need self-care absolutely absolutely yeah, and there's a difference too in that right that between doing bad things and being bad.
Speaker 1:Shame would tell us that we are, that we are bad.
Speaker 2:Yes.
Speaker 1:Right, and this really gets at our identity in Christ. You know, shame tells us that we're bad, but that's not true. You know, we have a God who is a creator and he called us very good Not just good when he made Adam and Eve. He said this is very good. So you know, there's some truth in that. I think that we can really cling to in the midst of some of this, and even as we face our shame in the midst of some of this, even as we face our shame.
Speaker 2:For sure, and I think if people even think about when they have to discipline their children and when you go to them, you don't say you're bad. You say you did something bad because you want them to know it's the action and not them as a person. You don't want them to think that they are inherently not good, and so it's easy to do that with others sometimes, but we're not always willing to do that for ourselves. To go. Wait, I'm not inherently bad. I have made a bad decision and committed a bad action, but that doesn't make me inherently bad.
Speaker 1:Yes, yes, it's funny that you bring that up too, with the kids. I have four kids, 11 and under and nobody has to teach a kid. Um, shame, like there's just something the enemy this is. I think part of just the enemy's plan against humanity right is to to get into our minds, to convince us that we're undeserving that we, you know, are, you know this, that or the other, because you know, I, I have a six-year-old son who will sit there and just say you know I'm, I'm bad, you know I'm a criminal, I'm, you know, and I'm like whoa, whoa, whoa buddy, like that's not true, that's not who you are.
Speaker 1:And and it's so easy to put that on as an identity when, when, really that's, that's not our identity, it's not who we are. So last week, andrea and I talked about reclaiming our senses and the importance of things like play. She talked about grounding and just some other things, and I think that began to touch on self-care and I want to build on that for a little bit and talk about what godly self-care looks like, and I think we can identify probably three main areas physical, mental and spiritual. So let's jump into that for a little bit.
Speaker 2:Sure yeah, because self-care means your whole self. It doesn't mean just parts of yourself, it means your whole self.
Speaker 1:That's right.
Speaker 2:And I think people don't understand how much certain things can affect your response to temptation, your response to acting out with respect to self-care. So if you have a physical ailment, if you've been walking around and you're like my leg's been hurting for three weeks, my leg's been hurting At some point, you're going to have a response to that and you might start to look for relief. And the relief you turn to might be that unwanted sexual behavior. That might be the thing you turn to. To go, man, to get my mind off of this pain in my leg, as opposed to pausing and going. Maybe I need to take a trip to the doctor.
Speaker 2:But just the practical thing of are you eating well? Are you getting enough sleep? What are the ways that you are caring just for your physical body? Do you need some movement? Do you need to be taking some exercise, walking? What are the things that help you just feel better overall, physically? When's the last time you had well, complete physical? You can address some things that may be going on that you were kind of letting linger because you didn't think they were a big deal and maybe they're not serious health concerns, but they might be enough that they drive you, you know, not attending to it can drive you toward indulging in unwanted sexual behavior.
Speaker 1:Yeah, absolutely, you know.
Speaker 1:That makes me think about, too, how, you know, stress and trauma and things like that can really manifest in a physical form in our bodies, right Like, and we might experience, we might be experiencing some sort of ailment and it might be from some sort of stress, or maybe we find ourselves in the middle of, um, you know, a disclosure or discovery, you know, or something like that, and and we start to maybe experience some physical things like in our, in our bodies, like these different ailments and things like that.
Speaker 1:And it could be from, you know, stress, yes, it could be from previous traumas, even finding out that kind of news, you know, for a spouse that may be betrayed, you know, may begin to experience something you know internally and, and you know, begin to experience something you know internally and, and you know, with with their physical body, and it very well could be related to this. It just makes me think about that and and it's so much more than some of the basic things like sleep and nutrition, and those things can, and exercise, right, like those things can really go by the wayside. You know, if you don't feel like you know you deserve them or you, um, you are maybe just in the throes of an addiction and you just whatever addiction that you are dealing with and neglecting everything else.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1:And the reality is too is that we are. Our bodies are not our own Right, are not our own right. 1 Corinthians 6, 19 to 20 says that we are his temple and that our bodies are not our own and that we've been bought at a price. And I even start to think about you know, physically and being, you know, part of the body of Christ, but then also, like we have a physical body, but we're also connected to others in community. So even the way we take care of our body affects in some ways the rest of the body, and how we show way we take care of our body affects in some ways the rest of the body and how we show up for the rest of the body For sure.
Speaker 1:I think another area is caring for our mental health. So, talking about physical health and now our mental health, and I think one of the things here that I think is helpful and again this is godly self-care. So this is different than maybe other ways that we have thought about, you know, our mental health and things like that, right, and so I think things like practicing thankfulness and gratitude and and making that more, uh, of a habit, you know, reflecting on some of those things, and I think you're going to share a little bit more about that in the Ignatius practice. But there's some of this idea of you know, if you're not focused on these negative things and now you're starting to focus on some positive things, to begin practicing things like that thankfulness and that posture of gratitude.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and I also think, too, that you have to adjust the things that can affect your mental health right, and whether these are things that are smaller things that don't send you into like this huge emotional tizzy. But if you're talking about maybe just a bad day and having a bad day and taking a pause, that when temptation is rising, are you willing to pause to say, okay, what happened today there's an acronym that's used often in 12 step is HALT H-A-L-T. Are you hungry, are you angry, are you lonely, are you tired? Did you actually just skip a meal? And your body is starting to respond to that?
Speaker 2:And so how are you addressing even just the things that can affect the way you feel when you have something serious that has taken place? If you had the death of someone close to you, experienced a divorce, if you lost a job or you've got this major life thing that is going to move you know, maybe you got to move across the country those things can stir up things for you that if you don't have means of addressing those, the thing that you'll turn to is that old behavior that you're trying to escape. And so how are you tending to even learning the ways to respond when you have these kinds of events in your life. That's another form of self-care.
Speaker 2:Maybe there are things that are traumatic enough where you do need the help of a coach or a counselor, and maybe you do that even as a form of maintenance, where you are regularly checking in and making sure you know, am I, you know, doing well emotionally? Am I doing well just mentally, the way my thought processes are, you know? Am I going through this negative kind of self-talk and I'm playing these tapes over and over and over again, tapes over and over and over again? Or have I found the means to address that when I start the self-talk, before I send myself down into a spiral, do I have tools in place that can help me to address the self-talk that's happening right in the moment, so that I know how to redirect? Those?
Speaker 1:things are so helpful in just caring for you mentally and emotionally talk about grief and lament and even how, you know, doing that can actually be in some ways, a form of kind of self-care, and to sit with the Lord and to, to acknowledge some of these difficult things and these hard things, and and to and to cry out to him in the midst of that, and and how healthy that is, instead of just stuffing it down or pretending or whatever we might do, you know, to not, to not kind of face it, right? Hmm, I think another part too of the mental side, you know, scripture that comes up immediately is Romans 12 to not to conform to the pattern of the world but be transformed by the renewing of our mind that we'd be able to test and approve what God's will is, his good, pleasing and perfect will. And I think the key phrase in there is the renewing of your mind. It's not just a renewed mind, it doesn't just happen like snap of fingers and snap of fingers and you're, it's, you know like done, like Thanos, right, snap the fingers, the thing is done.
Speaker 1:No, it's, it's a process, it's ongoing, it's a continuing to come back to the Lord, you know, this renewing of our mind and, quite honestly, some of the patterns and things that that have been habits you know just take time, you know, to overcome and to replace with some of these good, healthy things. It takes some time and it takes getting used to right. So there's that idea of just continuing to come back to the living water. Right, let him wash over that, let him renew our mind in that ongoing process.
Speaker 2:Yeah, as you know, people say you got to get rid of that stinking thinking yeah.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and then Philippians 4, 8, 2, finally, brothers, whatever's true, whatever's honorable, whatever's just, whatever's pure, whatever's lovely, whatever's commendable, if there is any excellence, if there's anything worthy of praise, think about these things now.
Speaker 1:I actually remember, early in my recovery, I used that passage to begin to try to think about things differently and to reorder in my thinking and to really allow myself and what a beautiful practice that was to to think about well, what, well, what, what, what is true, what are things that are true? Okay, make a list what is honorable, what is just, what is pure, what is lovely, what's lovely about the Lord, what is commendable about you know, my relationships, the things around me, the things I'm involved in that are good, and what things are excellent. You know what's worthy of praise, what's worthy of my praise, and there's really one worthy of that, you know, jesus. But you know, but just that encouragement to think about these things really, to really ponder, I don't think it just means, you know, read this verse and just you know, you know, spend a second on it. You know, but this verse, and just you know, you know, spend a second on it, you know, but really allow yourself to be immersed in that.
Speaker 2:Well, sure, and I think I would challenge those who are listening to come up with some specific ways to do that. It can be hard to try to think of it on the fly, as opposed to. What are the ways that I can shift my thinking? What are the things that I can have available to me so that, even if I'm getting a sense of, you know, my brain is starting to drift in a different direction, you know my brain is starting to drift in a different direction? What are the things that I can focus on, think about, redirect to even if it's getting in the habit of even just pausing and asking, okay, what's going on for me right here in this moment, what's happening, and being able to say so, lord, how do I shift my thinking so that I am thinking about what is pure, or whatever is lovely, or whatever is commendable, or anything that is excellent, to be willing to not just say, yeah, I'm going to do this, but have some things at your fingertips that you can practice regularly, and you don't have to wait for moments of temptation to do this. You can have this practice on a regular basis and watch how your thinking will start to shift. Watch what happens when temptation comes up. This all of a sudden will become more of an automatic response. That, as opposed to either turning inward and going you know what, I can't believe, I'm thinking this way and I can't. I just don't understand this and I'm an awful person as opposed to going there or even going go away, go away, go away, go away, go away the pause and say, all right, well, something is happening in this moment and I want to be able to connect to you right now, in this moment, and to be willing to have some ways that you can do that. If it means you got to, maybe you have to be more intentional about what are you bringing in to help change your thought patterns.
Speaker 2:Again, that's a way to care for yourself.
Speaker 2:Are you really willing to look at what you're bringing in and going well, there's some garbage here. Let me get rid of the garbage and let me take in more of what is going to be helpful for me to start to have a different thought process about myself, about the Lord, about how the Lord sees me, and then you can also find that you jump out of these patterns of shame. They don't come as frequently, because you're starting to give yourself a different perspective about who you are in Christ. As you had mentioned earlier, it's about who you are in Christ. As you had mentioned earlier, it's about who you are in Christ and if you need to go on the internet, do a search for who I am in Christ, get one of those lists post scripture all over the place, or find the ones that really resonate with you and start to make them your own and start to claim them and keep claiming them until they feel true to you, because you may start off it might not feel true, but it doesn't mean they aren't true yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1:I mean there you're talking about that building, building awareness in in those moments, right, and then creating and cultivating really curiosity about, like, what's going on, and just there's something about that pause and getting to a place where you can do that more and more. That is so disarming, I think, to the shame and it's power and grip over us in that way. What about our spiritual health? What are some ways that we can care for our spiritual health?
Speaker 2:Well, I mean, of course, they're the basic things right, making sure that you are in the word of God regularly, that prayer is regularly a part of your life, even in terms of praying with others. You know what is it like to be in community with others and experience prayer, confession in community, where you can experience the love of Jesus coming through another person. I think those are the. You know foundations there. Of course, you know being part of a church community. You know foundations there. Of course, you know being part of a church community. But I think also there are spiritual practices that are available that can be helpful, and some of these are important, I think, to help you slow down.
Speaker 2:It's easy to get into the sort of the checkbox. I did my little devotional today, so that box is checked. I've read my chapter of scripture today and that box is checked, but you never actually experienced God in that. And so I think part of attending to spiritual health is also asking the question how are you experiencing God in that? Not just, oh, I've got more information about him, but we didn't actually get to know him. And I think examine is one of these great practices. This is adapted from Ignatius Loyola's spiritual exercises and you can go online. I think we will have a link in the show notes that will take you to a page that will explain about examen. But we're talking about becoming aware of God's presence, reviewing your day with gratitude, paying attention to your emotions what were your emotions like during the day? And then take a part of your day and then start to pray through that and then asking the Lord to help you to look toward the next day, and particularly the next day with him.
Speaker 2:All right, because you know you can think of all the things. Oh, I've got a tomorrow, I've got to get this big meeting at work, or I've got this presentation issue, or I've got to take the kids this place, or I've got this doctor's appointment, so whatever, you can think of all those things, but you never stop to go. But what is, what is? How can I look forward to the tomorrow with the Lord?
Speaker 1:Yeah, absolutely, I mean, and that changes everything with the Lord, his presence and and really allowing ourselves to, to be able to think about that. I think even just is, it really is a good spiritual practice. You know, I think that a couple of things that come up for me too too is just, there's a maturity too, like in Christ. Right, we're called in 2 Peter 3.18, to grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior, jesus Christ. And that doesn't just happen, right, we have to be intentional. So there's certainly an intentionality to that maturing.
Speaker 1:I even think of the passage I don't remember where it's at, maybe Romans, I'm probably wrong there but the, that progression of you know, like, you know, babies need milk. When you're an infant, you need milk. But then there's that kind of graduation to eating more of that sustenance, food like the, you know the, the solids and things like that, and that describing our maturity and relationship in Christ. And that's the other thing this is, it's a relationship, um with him and strengthening that relationship and obviously those practical ways of just prayer and reading scripture. You know, is is found, it is a. It is fundamentally important to do those things because those are the two primary ways we get to know him more. So, yeah, well, let's turn to how we can practically do some of these things I think that's the hard part, right.
Speaker 2:Like you hear it, all it sounds good. Yes, yay, that sounds great, thank you. First of all, go ahead and make a plan, like you might feel like and you kind of alluded to this earlier like you might think this can just do this by osmosis, like because you wished it and willed it. It will be so, but I think there is a plan. What does it look like for you to engage with God regularly? What are the things that help you to pay attention to what's happening in your body physically? What helps you pay attention to your emotions and how you are responding to things? And again, what are the ways that you have regularly encountered the Lord? Are you willing to even try something different? Regularly encountered the Lord? Are you willing to even try something different? It's easy to kind of stay in your own little practice and do that and you feel like you've accomplished something, but again, you've never experienced God in that. And so what might it mean? Maybe you have this view of, well, it's got to be done in this particular way. And I would say, blow that up and look at this in a different light and look at it as like what are the ways that I have responded in the past when I know, okay, this thing needs attending to, and what are the ways I've been able to do that? And do those things right, remember those things and then make that the intentional thing of okay. Anytime I notice something in my body, I am not going to ignore it. Maybe there are people that you need to have around you to help you to be accountable in that. You know, if you have a friend who hears you go, my knees hurt me, or where you give them permission to go, hey, we're talking about that. If I think you want to go get checked out right, hey, we're talking about the F-5 thing you want to go get checked out right. Or if you someone has noticed that you just haven't been yourself and you have seen down in a loop and distance, is there somebody that can call that out? Call you forward to address that? I'll call you forward to address that. And so I think it is helpful with some of these things to have others as a part of the process or at least have someone that you can even just talk to. It like to be able to say you know what? I'm really trying to get better at attending to my whole self, and so I'm just doing X, y and Z, and maybe there are some people who will then kind of chime in for you and say, oh, have you thought about this? Is this something else you can add?
Speaker 2:If you're a person that you need a list to see some prayer posted up, maybe there are questions that you ask yourself every week. Was there something about my physical health I needed to attend to? Was there something about my mental health I needed to attend to? Was there something about my spiritual health? It could be as simple as that. This doesn't have to be complicated, it doesn't. It doesn't have to be complicated. It doesn't have to be complicated, it doesn't, it doesn't have to be complicated. But, as you said, you have to be intentional about it. You have to be willing to say here's some things. That mountain, so that you can jump up on the top and drive the flag in and say, yeah, I did it. You can go up a level at a time. So what does one level look like? Are you OK with doing baby steps in that and knowing that baby steps are still steps forward?
Speaker 1:Yeah, absolutely Doesn't matter how big the step is Right, you're not where you were previously every time you take that step forward. Yeah, absolutely, it doesn't matter how big the step is right, you're not where you were previously every time you take that step forward. So there's progress in that and I think that's a big thing. I think it's a that can be a real encouraging thing is, I think a lot of people on that journey get really discouraged, like if there is, you know, a slip or in recovery or something that that they're all back to square one. And that's not the case. You know, on a journey, you start out from point A and you're going towards point B and wherever you are down the road, you're further down the road than you are from point A. So there is that process, there is progress, and I think that can be lost, you know, if we're not careful to really kind of step back and look at that.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and on the journey. If you think about the journey, if you think, let's say you're riding a bike on the journey and you're six miles down the road and you fall off the bike, you don't walk the bike back to the beginning and start over.
Speaker 2:Pick up where you are and I think that, as you do this with Jesus, what you can remember is that the work that has happened has not been erased. If you've been doing this with Jesus, he's going to encourage you to stand up, pick up where you are and to continue to go forward. He's not erasing what has happened previously.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, that's so good. You know he is helping us to write a new story. He's he's the author and finisher, Right, and if there's breath in our lungs I heard someone say this one time if there's breath in our lungs, then our story isn't over.
Speaker 2:That's right.
Speaker 1:And there's just so much hope in that you know so, whether you you know you could take a look at some of these things and, you know, do a little inventory. Maybe it's daily, maybe there are things you can do weekly, maybe there are things that you can plan for monthly. Actually, research shows that anticipation of an event produces so much more joy and fulfillment than the actual event. Produces so much more joy and fulfillment than the actual event. And so even something like scheduling things out on your calendar maybe it's a trip in a few months and you're just really looking forward to this trip I would schedule something like that. I would encourage a listener to schedule something and to look forward to it.
Speaker 1:But there are certainly things that you can do daily, weekly, monthly, to form new habits, new patterns and just a new way of writing that new story. Kyle, I'm going to give you the final word. This has been a great conversation, I think, very helpful in thinking through how good it is to have these practices, the self-care, and how important that is. Can you give us a final word?
Speaker 2:Well, sure, what I would say is that try to remember that self-care helps you to be a better you You're not being selfish helps you to be a better you. You're not being selfish, and I think you said this earlier. Self-care helps you show up for others too. It's not just about you, but the more you care for yourself, the more of yourself you have to offer to others and to Jesus, right? So just remember that this is not a selfish thing. This is about being able to show up for yourself and for others and for the kingdom so good.
Speaker 1:Let me pray us out, jesus, we thank you for self-care and we we Lord that you would help us to grow in the ways that we may need to grow in practicing godly self-care with you in that relationship, lord, and again, just as you continue to write our story, lord, and as we have this breath in our lungs, lord, that our story's not over, so help us to grow in godly self-care, lord, and that it would unlock our healing if we find ourselves stuck, and just to go deeper places with you, lord, help us to be sensitive to your leading and to be intentional, lord, in pursuing these things. And to be intentional, lord, in pursuing these things because we do deserve them, lord, because you have called us very good In Jesus' name, amen.