.jpg)
Becoming Whole
Relationships and sexuality are areas of life that can be beautiful or confusing, life-giving, or painful. Becoming Whole is a conversational podcast for men, women, and families seeking to draw nearer to Jesus as they navigate topics like sexual integrity, relational healing, spiritual health, and so much more.
Becoming Whole
Seeing through the eyes of Jesus Part 2
What if the way Jesus saw people wasn't exceptional, but exemplary? What if His vision—His ability to perceive beyond surface appearances—is actually how we're designed to see?
This episode continues in the importance to see people as whole human beings rather than objects for pleasure or obstacles to happiness. Josh opens with a powerful story about a seemingly "grumpy" waitress whose true circumstances completely transformed how he perceived her.
Throughout the Gospels, Jesus consistently demonstrates this different way of seeing. When a woman touches His garment in a crowd, He doesn't just feel the touch—He stops everything to see her face-to-face. When Simon the Pharisee judges a "sinful woman," Jesus challenges him directly: "Do you see this woman?" These moments reveal Jesus not as an exception to humanity, but as our example of what true humanity looks like.
Suppose you're struggling with lust or judgment. In that case, this episode offers hope beyond "managing" these tendencies—it invites you into a transformed way of seeing that aligns with how you were actually designed to perceive the world. Join us as we learn to ask, "Lord, show me what you see."
Resources from this series:
Celebration of the Disciplines by Richard Foster
Sacred Rhythms by Ruth Haley Barton
Free Resources to help you on your journey to Becoming Whole
👉Men's Overcoming Lust & Temptation Devotional
👉Women 21-Day Prayer Journal & Devotional - (Women overcoming unwanted sexual Behavior)
👉Compass 21-Day Prayer Journal & Devotional - (Wives who are or have been impacted by partner betrayal)
Hey friends, last week we began a conversation probably a three-part series, trying to get after an idea related to sight, and last week, if you were with us, if you haven't listened to last week's podcast, please do. I think it'll set you up well for this one, although this one will stand alone as well. But we talked last week about the reality that Jesus one saw things differently than we do, that you read the Gospels and we see that Jesus kind of perceives things and sees things that the average people around him didn't. But then secondly and here's the real kicker he actually saw things the way that we're supposed to see things. He is the second Adam. He is the exemplar for what a human is meant to be. And so, as we see his life in the gospels and see him seeing and perceiving things differently than the average person around him does, it's actually meant to stir desire in us and serve invitationally to us to aspire to, to seek to see and relate with people, as he did. So that's where we started last week see and relate with people, as he did. So that's where we started last week.
Speaker 1:This week I want to start. Well, let me, before I do that, james Craig back with us again. James is our project director, our guru of making sure that things move forward on our team. I don't know what we would do without him. He's also one of our spiritual coaches here and he is the coordinator of our Awaken program, which provides year-round support for men who are wrestling with their own sexual integrity issues. And so, james, glad to be with you again this week. Thanks, josh, james. Before we dive into this week, like anything else, pop for you last week that you want to kind of bring to the forefront before we go further.
Speaker 2:Just a couple of things. One is this is a paradigm shift for so many of us this idea that need not necessarily be a lifelong struggle, like lust, whether you're a man or a woman, doesn't need to be at least in a sense of lifelong struggle, and that we're actually made to desire what he is and what he desires and to see as he sees. It's not just, we're not just waiting for eternity with him in heaven where things are all made right. We're actually called to participate in making things right now by his power, by his strength, through repentance. So those are some of the things that really stuck out to me last week.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, and I liked what you said last week too, but just kind of even framing the idea of struggle, like what do you mean by that? And I think most of us, and what we're referring to when you say this doesn't need to be a lifelong struggle. Most of us think of that word struggle in relation to our sexual lives as something that we will probably continue to fall into from time to time, at least to some degree. And what we're proposing here is that if Jesus truly is the example of what it is to be a human, and and his example is invitational to us because of the fullness of the gospel then we can hope for and seek to, and aspire to be like he is, which means aspire to be one who does not lost, who does not view porn ever. Um, and we'll get more into that today. So let me, let me, let me frame up this. I want to this episode with a story.
Speaker 1:Um, and I've shared this in different settings before. I'm not sure if I shared on the podcast, but years ago, uh, my mom, I was an adult, I had some kids, I was married, um, my mom was in town visiting and, and one of the things with a family at home. It's nice to get away like and spend one-on-one time with her when she's here. So she, she, she, you know, went out to breakfast, went to a local greasy spoon and we're sitting there eating and I've been there many times before this particular morning we're seated by a hostess and we're sitting in our, in our seats and we're waiting, and we're waiting, and we're waiting and the, the waitress, whoever's assigned to our area, does not seem to be showing up and it's a little irritating. We don't even have our coffee yet and, uh, after however long it was, finally our waitress comes to the table. No apology, not even any introduction about you know what her name is, or good morning, good to see you. She drops two menus on the table and she says and she holds up a craft of coffee, with their coffee mugs on the table, she holds up a craft of coffee. She says coffee, that's it. And I, I said, well, can I get half calf? She half, rolls her eyes and walks off. No word again. I'm like what the heck, you know?
Speaker 1:Um, I lean across the table to my mom and I'm like man, I think we got miss grumpy as our waitress this morning Like what's the deal. Uh, my mom is like the eternal optimist, so she didn't join me in my like you know, criticalness of my uh, of our waitress, but nonetheless, and then throughout the, throughout the morning, as, as our breakfast kind of continued, it's just it was reinforced Like, this is a grumpy woman. What is her deal? Um, you know, she came back with a you know half calf cup of coffee for me. Um, she took our order very, very curtly. She, you know, no pleases, no thank yous, no eye contact. She walks off and then we're waiting for our breakfast, which also seems to be an exception in a long time that we're waiting, and I finally see her come out from back to behind the kitchen and I'm like, oh, maybe she's bringing her breakfast now.
Speaker 1:And there's a phone that rings and it's her phone, and I know it because she reaches into her apron, pulls out her phone on the on the restaurant floor. She's on the job on the floor, 15 feet away from her table, and she stops to take a call in the middle of the restaurant. Hello, I'm like this, what is this? Where's the manager? You know, I'm like looking around, like to report this woman, all right. What happens next, though, changed everything, because in the phone call I hear her her voice is cracking a bit. It's obvious from the tone of voice that she's nervous and her conversation goes something like this I don't remember exactly, but something like this, and I'm just hearing the one side of the conversation, just what she's saying. She's saying something like yeah, well, where is he now? Well, what happened? Look, I'm not getting the information I need. Like and as the conversation unfolds, what we surmise is that she's a mom and she's got a son who is fighting overseas somewhere in the military and there's been some accident or an IUD, or IUD, iud.
Speaker 2:IUD, maybe one of those bombs, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1:I would see my brain is. I work at region, so my brain's right there, not in the military IED I apologize listeners an IED or something, but he's. He's sustained some kind of injury and he's being rushed away from the middle East where he's serving uh to I think it was London or somewhere to have emergency surgery, and this mom is scared to death. So when I say it changed everything, what I mean is this like all morning, I'm seeing this woman. And I am not seeing this woman. I am seeing a version of this woman that I have figured out in my brain.
Speaker 1:My brain has connected the dots, the synopsis is fired, I've recognized what she's doing around me right now and I've made a decision about what kind of woman. This is what she's doing, what she's about, and to me she's Miss Grumpy. The phone call opened my eyes to something entirely different about her and suddenly she's not a grumpy waitress not doing her job. Well, she's a mom who is scared to death and is not getting information she needs about her son. And not only that, but she's waiting on a table of a mom and adult son having a good old time together, and that's got to be like salt in the wound of her fear that morning. From then on, every time she came to our table, all I'm wanting to do is bless her, is help her, is comfort her, is encourage her, is pray for her, as opposed to just judge her and want to get her reprimanded by her boss.
Speaker 1:When we say Jesus is the example, not the exception, he sees things as they are and we are designed to see as he sees, and we should aspire. We want to aspire. His life is an example that we are meant to see as he sees and we should aspire. We want to aspire. His life is an example that we are meant to aspire to. This is an element of what we're talking about. This is an example, an illustration of what we're talking about. What do you hear there, james?
Speaker 2:man, the perception. I mean we were saying paradigm shift earlier, but the perception changed. The um. It's making me think about how Jesus would say things like I only do what I see the father doing. And it was so clear that he not only got away to be with the father, he went on hikes up mountains to pray.
Speaker 2:He knew the scripture backward and forward, but he actually was like attuned to the father in any given moment and was doing what he saw the father doing, whatever that meant, and there's probably some mystery there. There's probably some he had, you know, senses like many of us get as we try to tune into god. He might have visually seen things. I don't know exactly what it looks like, but I've I've heard bits and pieces of his body, people, christian people hearing and seeing it and doing things based on that, and it just strikes me that, um, if we're so seldom attuned to the father, how hard it is to be doing all the time what the father's doing. But that's not a death sentence, that's not a. This is impossible. Like he actually honored your heart in some way by giving you a glimpse, 15 feet away, of what's going on, and he gave you the father's heart for her. So it's really really interesting.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, absolutely. And if we translate that into the realm of, of the spaces and places where we are tempted to lust or treat someone as a sex object, um it, it makes us pop even more in regards to why our listeners listen to this podcast and can I even say too yeah, um, if you could hold that thought for just a second even even those who are betrayed spouses and even those who are parents of children who are in a difficult place sexually, whatever that may mean.
Speaker 2:I imagine this is going to be pertinent too, because Jesus didn't just see people in a sexually healthy way himself, but he also saw people with compassion and forgiveness, and he saw so much deeper right. Then most of us can see whether we're struggling with sexual sin, man or woman, whether we're betrayed spouse or whether we're trying to parent someone dealing with sexual brokenness.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, well, said yeah I mean mean wherever you are listening, uh, whatever, in whatever way you are seeing the world and seeing people around you, what difference might it make to to see through jesus's eyes, or said, maybe even more accurately, to see with the eyes that jesus designed, uh, for you to have to see, with the eyes that Jesus designed for you to have to see, with the heart that God has placed in you and has redeemed in you and is redeeming in you? Um, one of the one of the frames up frame ups that is helpful for me in thinking about this is that, uh, we're designed to see people wherever we're looking. You know whether the person that we're looking at is someone who might be tempted to, to lust after, to objectify, or someone that we'd be tempted to loathe. Uh, in either either place, like what we tend to do is we tend to dehumanize that person to some degree or another. We take a chunk of their story, a chunk of the truth about where they've come from, what happens to them after this moment, where they're going in life, what they feel deep inside, where their wounds or trauma are, what their adverse childhood experiences are, what their eternal destiny is. We, we kind of eclipse our our view of that all in that moment and just see either someone that we want to treat as an object or as an obstacle, someone to lust after, or someone to loathe, or just someone to you know, run our groceries for us and help us get out the door, you know, quickly as, as opposed to a human person. And we read through the gospels and we see over and over and over again these spaces and places where Jesus saw a person, sensed a person. Um, we live in such a hustle and bustle age, like we're in such a hurry, it's hard for us to kind of even fathom Middle Eastern timeframes and the time it took as Jesus walked from place to place. But even Jesus had moments where there was external pressure to just get through stuff.
Speaker 1:And I hear, I think about the woman who was hemorrhaging for a dozen years or more. She doesn't want to take any Jesus time, she doesn't want to draw attention to herself at all. She's like she's not supposed to be in this crowd because if anybody touches her, she touches them, she makes them unclean, like she's unclean, so she wants to sneak in, touch the hem of his garment because she knows there's power. There are other places in that same gospel where people touch Jesus, the hem of his garment, and they were healed and she's like that. It says Jesus sensed this goes back to your point about just kind of his attunement to the Father but he sensed that there was power that went out from him. And he stops and he says someone touched me.
Speaker 1:I think another way to think about that, as we're kind of conceiving of the way that Jesus saw people. His disciples say, like what are you talking about? There's people pressing in all around you. So his disciples are seeing the crowd and they're like you're being touched everywhere, like this, like they just kind of see the mob. But Jesus is still looking for the person, the individual person. He's like no, no, no, like someone, someone touched me and he calls her forward. Um, and, interestingly enough for our purposes, why? So he could see her, so he could look her in the face. And reciprocally, I believe that a big part of this was that so she could see his face. It wasn't scolding, it wasn't reprimanding, it wasn't there to tell her what she did was wrong, wasn't to take back the miracle, whatever else she might've feared. He wanted her, he wanted to see her and he wanted her to see him. Seeing her, that's something different, I think, than most. It's so different yeah.
Speaker 2:I'm just thinking about our digital world and how hard it is to really see someone on social media. Um, granted, I've been off for years. Uh, it'll make you happier listeners. Get off social media. Um, there's studies there now, but, um, but what social media so often does is it's presenting both a best version, like, I think, of the sculpted instagram post of you know, uh, this amazing vacation, and we're tempted to just see them as this, like, wow, they're doing so great, what's wrong with me?
Speaker 2:My old therapist used to say, in part this part of why I got off I'm comparing my insides to their outsides. I'm not really seeing them. I'm looking. Sometimes you make that distinction, right, I'm looking at them, but I'm not really seeing that. This is a sculpted image and no one has a perfect life. 24, seven, right, so that's one side of it. So maybe that'd be more like objectify or lust in an interesting kind of way. Right, like, this is perfect and I'm so messed up.
Speaker 2:On the other side, I think, um, and you can let me know if you're still on Facebook, but on Facebook there's so often the like the uncle who does the political thing that we disagree with, and then the grandma or someone responds and like giant paragraphs and, and it can just go on and on and it's like I'm not actually seeing them I'm loathing you use that word right or like I'm seeing them as this, like obstacle, um, they're what's wrong with the country, they're what's wrong with the world, but I'm not actually seeing perhaps, a broken, sinful, immature person who's deeply valued and loved by God.
Speaker 2:And these back and forth paragraphs of whatever don't actually allow me to see them. That way I might see their little icon, their little image that again, maybe is curated, but like I'm not actually seeing the person. This is so different than what you just described jesus. Like he wants to look at her in the face, he wants to honor her, this woman who's been so dishonored by society. Like he wants to honor her, he wants to show her her value and her dignity.
Speaker 1:So different yeah, yeah, I love you bring up social media or just media in general. Um, I'm not one to say, you know, all social media or all media is evil, although I I too, have pretty strict boundaries around social media use for my own wellbeing, and one of them has to do with the reality that if I lose myself to watching Facebook reels or YouTube reels or YouTube videos for long amounts of time, there is a way that my because our brains aren't always just kind of automatically able to recognize the difference between reality and fiction, even neurologically like you watch a scary movie and your body is afraid. Why? Because your body doesn't know the difference, or your brain doesn't know the difference. But there is a way that we are practicing something in those moments, and I think social media and other forms of media give us lots of opportunity to practice not seeing whole people or seeing people as objects, and so one way to think about objects and obstacles, I use the word lust and loathe. Another way of framing that up is we know we're not seeing people when we're seeing an object which we define as I'm seeking that person for how they make me feel, they make me feel good, so in the realm of lust. They give me sexual pleasure. You know, the way they dress, the way they talk, the way they pose, the way they act, the things they do brings me sexual pleasure. That's why I'm looking at this person brings me sexual pleasure. That's why I'm looking at this person. And and in fact, looking at this person is a misnomer, because if you're truly seeing the person, you can't just treat them as a sex object, for how they make you feel.
Speaker 1:To see an obstacle is to is to to perceive someone as in your way of pleasure. They are in the way of my happiness, and so the example you gave online is you know that you have the wrong political view, or you're espousing the false information, or you're, you know, in my, in my way, you know, and you have too many groceries in the express checkout of the grocery store, you're, you're an obstacle to my happiness as and I don't see you as a person, as a full person. Yeah, and the life of Jesus models for us that we're actually not intended to see people that way. We're not in, we are not designed.
Speaker 1:Our eyes, our hearts, our minds are actually not designed by God to behold an object or an obstacle, a sexual object to lust after, or a a, a, a doof ball that you know that we're we dismiss as out of hand as as someone in the in the way of the flourishing of humanity, but rather we're intended to see human persons, human beings, male and female. What if we live that way and what difference would that make in those moments of sexual temptation when we're scrolling and suddenly there's an OnlyFans ad or there's an advertisement, or when we're driving around in the summertime and a guy runs by without a shirt on and we're like whoa, or a woman runs by with you know tight, fitting outfit and we're like, wow, like we're tempted to to lust in those moments and to see them as an object because of the way that we feel the sexual feelings and arousal we might feel. What changes when we begin to say, jesus, I want to see like you, see I, what do you see right now?
Speaker 2:one of the books and concepts has been impacting my life in the last year. So much is the life model from jim wilder and specifically a book called rare leadership, and it's an acrostic. But basically the first R is remain relational. And that's actually how they would say like joy. They define joy relationally, a sense of I'm glad to be with someone. And so to remain relational is to see people as bigger than problems.
Speaker 2:And part of what strikes me about this is that Jesus, despite he's going to save a little girl from death, he's got pressure from people, synagogue leaders, crowds around him. This one woman mattered to him so much more than all that other stuff. Or if you think about the hostility you know I use the example of the uncle on Facebook, but I mean the Pharisees coming at his life, I mean his very livelihood, his friends. He knows they're all going to get martyred someday. Like man, if something would make any of us incredibly like this problem matters so much more than people, would be the threat to our life, like, yeah, not even just like I'd take a bullet for you, because some of us might think that way and that's a great thing to think, like I would take a bullet for my family or something, but because some of us might think that way, and that's a great thing to think, like I would take a bullet for my family or something, but like would I be willing to be tortured, would I be willing to go through all that and so sorry to go so far afield, but it's like.
Speaker 2:But there's something about even the people who were killing him. We can believe, based on all the whole testimony of scripture, he still saw them as people, more than simply a problem to be solved. It was a person to be loved, not just a problem. And granted, we can tell that that was effective. Because what is it? The Roman centurion, this pagan guy who's literally killing Jesus, he's carrying out the judgment, is like surely this was the son of God. I mean, can you imagine the amount of insults and curses hurled at those guys because they're doing you know, they're killing people on crosses? But something about Jesus' countenance, something about his posture and the way he carried himself and the love that he exuded showed even that kind of man that Jesus was exceptional, that Jesus was the son of God.
Speaker 1:Yeah, father, forgive them, they know not what they do. Yes, wow was the son of god. Yeah, father, forgive them, they know not what they do. Yes, wow. And john talks about him looking out from the cross in his torment, seeing his mother mary and his disciple john, and and uh, giving them provision for what's ahead in in defining their relationship.
Speaker 1:Speaking about relationship, um, so let's come back to this lust. Okay. So, listeners, if you're wrestling with sexual lust and your eyes are designed not to see objects for your selfish pleasure or your sexual pleasure, but to see people, what does that mean? So before we, I want to talk a little about how we get there, what we can do, but before I want to frame up just one awesome story.
Speaker 1:This is one of my favorite stories in the Gospels of Jesus' invitation in this regard. It comes from Luke 7, and Jesus has been invited over to Simon, the Pharisee's house for dinner, and it wouldn't be uncommon in that age for there to be other people in the room kind of just observing those who are invited. So there's the invited people around the table or around the, the horseshoe table, kind of laying around the table, and then there are other people who might've just kind of walked in and that was acceptable to to hear the conversation among the rabbis. One of the people who comes in is a woman who is known for her immorality and she, um, she falls down at Jesus's feet and she begins weeping in his feet, washing his feet with her tears, wiping them with her hair, um, and anointing his feet with with, with oil. Is. Is this the story where she anoints with oil? Do you remember I might be getting that? I might be confusing that? Or perfuming?
Speaker 2:Yeah, I was just trying to remember if there's actually two different kind of anointing stories or not, but one was, uh, uh, yeah, mary, one of the Marys, I think um, who sat at his feet, maybe.
Speaker 1:Yeah, okay. So, so, minimum, this woman comes in, she's, she's one of the non-invitees, um, and she is making a scene. And there's this moment. So Simon's invited her, invited, sorry, invited Jesus, kind of check him out. And the, the gospel writer, writes, or luke writes in the story, he said yeah. So simon thinks to himself basically I'm paraphrasing, this is the josh international international version he thinks to himself like ah, all right, we can wrap this up like I know he's not a prophet, um, you know, I was wondering before because of all the stuff I've heard and seen, whatever, but like he's not, because if you were really a prophet he would know what kind of woman this is, that she's a sinner. So he's kind of concluded. And then luke writes that jesus responded to simon's thought, so like, which I think is just awesome.
Speaker 1:There are several places in the gospels where, like, the pharisees are thinking or grumbling themselves and jesus knows, again, like his perception and what's really going on for people, and he shares the story of two debtors, one with less of a debt, one with a greater debt, and their, and the master forgives them both. And jesus asked simon um, which, which one would be more grateful to the master? Which one would love the master more and and simon rightly says it would be the one that was forgiven more. And then Jesus asks him this question and, by the way, we can't miss, he is obviously. Jesus is obviously setting up a situation here where there are two servants One represents Simon, who Simon perceives has less to be forgiven of, and one has a greater debt, which is this woman. And Jesus is setting himself up here as the master, or at least God is. Is the master, um, if people don't recognize that Jesus is God, um? But in any case, in that, in that situation, jesus is setting this up. He's talking about what's happening in the room, but the reason I want to say that is because he's also seeing Simon. He's also seeing Simon because he's he, he knows Simon, you've got stuff too All right. So he asked the question.
Speaker 1:And then he says these beautiful words, and I think these are Jesus's words to us today. He says he gives us like Simon, you're right now. Then he turns to the woman and he says Simon, do you see this woman? And I think those, there's more that happens in that, in that story, but I love that word. He's inviting Simon to see the woman, not what he had been seeing, which was that she is a sinner. Um, he has been seeing a sinner, jesus, like but do you see this woman?
Speaker 1:And then he, then he describes her like she's been forgiven much, she's loved me much, she's actually treated me better than you have. You didn't do this. You didn't you have water that you could have. You have servants. You could have washed my feet easily. She's washing them with her tears and her hair. Like, see her, see her.
Speaker 1:That's Jesus invitation to us. It's another place, like he's not just the example and we're kind of like trying to keep up with him. He is inviting us to see what he sees. He's even tapping us at moments, like he's tapping Simon to say see what I see. And so in these moments where we are tempted to lust after someone or loathe, for that matter, we're tempted to lust for someone Might, we just slow down and tune into the voice of Jesus saying the same words to us, because the word of god is living and active. It's not just from 2000, living and active, and so his words are living for us and they're active for us today. Can we hear jesus saying to us in those moments do you see this woman and we can respond. Or do you see this man? Do you see this person? What do you think, james?
Speaker 2:I can't help but want to bring it to this incredible concept in 1 John, which says when we see Jesus, we shall be like him. We shall be like him because we'll see him as he is. There's something that transforms us when we learn to see others, maybe ourselves. And with learning to see Jesus, it says, says all who have this hope in him purify themselves. This hope that when I finally see Jesus, like, even hoping in that that I'll be pure, then like it purifies us. Now. How wild is that that. He's designed our site to actually be part of what transforms us. He's made us to actually be transformed by seeing and hoping, as we were made to.
Speaker 1:I love that, james. It's so powerful and listeners, you don't know this, but we literally just had to press pause on this conversation for about 10 minutes because there's something glitched out right as James was was talking about that Um, but such a powerful idea of of when we see him to face to face, then then we really become like him, which is again who we are designed, meant to be. Um, which brings us, I think, to let's get some practical things before we wrap this episode. So you're listening and like, okay, I'm supposed to see like Jesus sees, that's the way I'm designed. So, if Jesus came to seek and save that which is lost, part of that is to give sight to the blind.
Speaker 1:I'm dealing with my own kind of blindness Through lust. I'm not seeing a whole person, so what do I do? So I want to give you three different categories. There's probably a lot more than this three different categories, but one of them fits really well with what James was just describing. We let Jesus see us. We have to let ourselves stand before the eyes of Jesus.
Speaker 1:So we see in Genesis 3, after Adam and Eve had sinned and we're going to talk about this more next week, but after they sinned. One of the first things they did was try to hide themselves from God. You got to stop hiding from God, and that means multiple things, but on a basic level, for those struggling with sexual sins, it means we come out of hiding, we stand in front of him naked, with the realities of what we have done and we're still struggling to do and how we feel about it. So I was talking to somebody yesterday who was even saying man, there are times where, like I pray, I don't want to do this, or I'm praying but I'm actually still planning on sinning, like so, instead of having those prayer times or showing up at church or or just avoiding God's face in those moments bring it to him.
Speaker 1:Lord, I'm praying to you right now. You see the reality. I'm still planning on going and acting out later. Help me.
Speaker 1:I'm divided, stand naked before him with our sin and our sinfulness. That part of us still desires this stuff. But also just stand before him, um, seeking the eyes of love that search for you, just like his eyes search for that woman who was hemorrhaging for so long, just as his eyes were able to see the woman's tears and her act of service, out of love, for how much God had forgiven her. Like, expect not, you're not entitled to this but expect, anticipate Jesus loving eyes searching for you. In the same ways that he saw differently other people, he sees you differently than you see yourself, and so stand before his eyes. You can use imaginative prayer here to see Jesus seeing you. James, what are you hearing there, james?
Speaker 2:what are you hearing there In Awaken? Nearly every week as part of the homework in Awaken 360, we have this last question spend five or 15 or 30 minutes alone with Jesus. And I remember when I was going through Awaken as a participant, all those years ago, that was so painful, so difficult and so powerful. And I remember also that one of the great Christian thinkers of the last, I think, 500 years, blaise Pascal the mathematician, he said something along the lines of all of humanity's, or all of man's problems could be solved by his ability to sit in his room alone. In other words, without any distraction, completely naked, not doing anything. In other words, without any distraction, completely naked, not doing anything, not accomplishing anything.
Speaker 2:And it's hard medicine. It doesn't go down easily for many of us because we're so we don't know how to deal with our shame. You know the toxic place of shame, and so to be seen like that feels like hell. But actually through that fire, through the, it's actually purgation, it's actually healing, it's actually transforming us to being more open to being seen. It it's a spiritual discipline. Spiritual disciplines are medicine. It's like if, if I can try this once a week or daily, 15 minutes of nothing, how might god use that to begin to seep in his love to those places of shame.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah. And friends, I mean, if you need to rewind and listen to these episodes again, thinking about yourself like we talked about it. Jesus doesn't seem to see objects in the way of his happiness. You are not in the way of his happiness. You are not in the way of his kingdom. You're not in the way of his happiness. You're not in the way of his kingdom. You're not in the way of his glory. We talked about not seeing objects to be used for our pleasure. God does not want to use you. That's not what he's about.
Speaker 1:I remember hearing, years ago people talked about yeah, jesus saved you so that you could be part of his mission to save others. Like, well, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, sure, sure, sure. But hold on, hold on. Jesus saved you because he loves you. Jesus looks at you and looks for you because he loves you. He sees you differently than you see yourself. So this invitation is intended to be an opportunity for you to see him seeing you differently than you see and feel about yourself, and you can use your holy imagination in this regard. You've used your imagination for lust. You've used your imagination for evil things. Well, now use it for good. Imagine Jesus on the cross, looking at you with eyes of love, and stay there. Imagine Jesus looking at you in the crowded room of your church or at the mall and and just like that, that woman, he stops what he's doing and he's looking for you because he loves you. Use your holy imagination and spend time in that place, and maybe it's not 50, maybe it's you. Start with a minute, five minutes, but, but, but keep coming back, keep practicing that. Five minutes, but, but, but keep coming back, keep practicing that. Second thing you can do is um is prayer, and that what we're just describing is a form of prayer, cause you're seeking to spend time with God there. But, but simply ask Jesus that question I've we've actually asked it a couple of times in these two series like hey, lord, I'm, I'm seeing a sex object. I'm tempted. She seems like she wants what I'm. I'm seeing a sex object. I'm tempted. She seems like she wants what I'm to me, to look at her. He seems like he's all about himself and happy that I'm checking him out. What do you see, lord? This is what I'm seeing, and don't spend long on what you're seeing, he knows. I mean, you can just say it confessionally, but cry out, lord, show me what you see. I want to see what you see. I want to see what you see. I want to see who you see. Show me something I'm not seeing in this moment because, um, uh, I'm obviously missing something here. Um, pope john paul the second had this wonderful quote and I'm surprised we didn't bring it up earlier. I meant, I know, I thought about yeah, he says um, the problem with pornography is not that it shows too much, but it shows too little. And I'd say the same thing's true about lust. The problem with pornography is not that it shows too much, but that it shows too little. And I'd say the same thing is true about lust the problem with lust is not that you're seeing too much, that you're seeing too little. So, lord, show me what else you're seeing.
Speaker 1:We can be like blind Bartimaeus outside of Jericho when Jesus is walking by and we feel like he's not even paying attention, doesn't even know we're there. You just cry out Lord, lord Jesus, son of David, lord Jesus. And he says what do you want me to do for you? And Bartimaeus says I want to see. So let that be your prayer, lord, I want to see.
Speaker 1:There are times, even today, I'm at the gym or I'm out in public somewhere, I'm some and I and I just I'll just stop what I'm doing and close my eyes and be like Lord, I want to see, help me to see this person, like you're seeing them. So so pray and keep praying. And then third is practice, and by practice we just mean like you, just keep trying to see people. So one way to do this, one way that I've done this over the years, is like what do you, what do you know is true about every human being that you know that you know Well, james? What are some things that you know are true about every human being that you know that you know well, james? What are?
Speaker 2:some things that you know are true about every human being that, you know, everyone came out of their mother's womb completely naked, helpless, covered in whatever you know. Yep, everyone needs to eat, everyone needs. Everyone goes to the bathroom, everyone. Yep, yeah, I mean all those types. Everyone wakes up. Well, maybe not everyone, but most people wake up with bad breath, and you know, aren't?
Speaker 1:comfortable in makeup when really be seen and loved and known and loved.
Speaker 1:And most everyone walks around with some sense of man. If people see everything about me, I'm not going to be loved. Including those who show what seems like everything online. Including the people who show themselves wearing next to nothing or nothing in front of you, like, sometimes. Especially those people really long to be seen. The people who show themselves wearing next to nothing or nothing in front of you, like sometimes, especially those people really long to be seen. Um. I'll wrap with this so you can practice this. One of one of the most powerful examples I've seen of this was um.
Speaker 1:There's a, a porn star who did an interview, a series of interviews with diane sawyer, um, years and years ago, on on. I can't remember what the station was 60 minutes or something, yeah, something like that. Yeah, prime time. I think it was what it was. Um. Maybe I don't know so anyway, but diane sawyer and um. Her real name was michelle. She went by a different stage name, as many porn stars do, and um, but they followed her around. She was like just 18 or 19 when she started in porn. It wasn't long after that, and she's describing both the sexual assault she experienced when she was in middle school, her parents' divorce. She shares with them the reality that the first porn video that she ever filmed she didn't want to do but her agent pressured in like hey, if you want to be in this business, you're going to have to do this. And things happened to her on that set and on other sets that she that were not in the script, that she did not agree to, um, they did not have her consent. And afterwards, um, you know the director, just they keep filming, and afterwards somebody, so those are towels, let's get cleaned up. Um times where she was in deep physical pain. But and, by the way, just again, just like, let's see reality here for a moment. Any other place that someone is is forced to do something sexually that they did not give their consent to. We call it rape. So she was raped in the video and they just kept rolling.
Speaker 1:And at one point in the in the interview, diane Sawyer makes makes that observation. She the in the in the interview, diane Sawyer um makes it, makes that observation. She says you're describing these things that were really hard for you, really painful for you, and yet you're always smiling. And then she just stops and she waits for Michelle to answer and Michelle, um, at first kind of like blinks and then smiles this big, beautiful smile, and says, well, that's because I like to hide, and almost coy, almost flirtatious, the way that she said it. And diane sawyer just waits, she just leaves silence like this incredible therapist, almost except it wasn't a therapy session. And then she says so, she's, I just, I like to hide you. Um, and then she says and then here she starts to tear up, starts to break, she says I don't want people to see, uh, to see me, to see the real me. And then Diane Sawyer asks, in essence she says why, what's? What's real, what's hidden? And then she says, oh, now I'm going to cry. And she starts to cry and she says, um, I want people to see how happy I am, but in truth I don't like me at all. And then she wipes her tear and she kind of shakes her head a little bit and smiles again at the camera and just shakes it off.
Speaker 1:I think that was like this, this crack in the persona, this crack in the faulty, this crack in this protection she'd put on herself to hide herself even from the real pain. She was in the real sorrow, the real longing she has, and we got a glimpse of the real girl behind this porn star persona that she had learned to live with. Now, after that interview, um, anti-porn advocates were like, look, the truth, like me would be like look, this is the, this is really what this is doing to people. She recanted, she said no, no, I didn't mean it was a bad day, I was having a rough week. You know, I didn't really mean it. Um, I love my job, I love my company, I love my agent, I love you know, um, and she continued in porn for years and years, although she kept saying every once in a while like I want to get out, I want to get out, I don't, I don't believe her, I don't believe her.
Speaker 1:And I think part of the challenge for us in seeing real people, especially those who are in adult entertainment or those who have kind of bought into the sexual lives of the culture, is that sometimes they themselves don't see the truth about themselves, or and or uh, are afraid, like you were describing, to really be seen for who they are, and so they hide. Jesus did not buy the bait of people's pretensions, of their, their posturing, their images outwardly. He saw the real people. I talked earlier about that scene, luke seven, when he saw Simon. Simon didn't want to see the truth about his own need for forgiveness.
Speaker 1:The peril of the prodigal son is another example. Jesus is framing up the older brother as the Pharisees, and one way to read that is that he's condemning the Pharisees. He's not. He's letting the Pharisees know the father comes for you to come inside. Come inside and be part of the party. Part of the challenge for us and seeing real people is seeing through the mirage that they themselves might buy into as well. We got to wrap there for this week. We're going to come back next week and dive deeper into what else is. Does Jesus see that we don't see? And what else is true about us that we haven't been saying? And, man, there's some incredibly cool, wonderful good news that we're going to talk about next week. So I want you to come continue, but, james, maybe you could wrap us up by praying for those listening again.
Speaker 2:And yeah, father, how many Michelle's have we not seen? How many times have we not seen our spouses or friends or parents or children ourselves? The Lord and friends, if you can pray this along with me, I invite you to Lord, come and see us, open us up to be seen by you, and give us eyes to see with hope, so that you may be purifying us, as we hope, in that final day where we will see you and once again be naked or something like that, without any shame. Bless you, jesus, pray all this in your name, amen, amen thank you, brother.
.png)
