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Becoming Whole
Relationships and sexuality are areas of life that can be beautiful or confusing, life-giving, or painful. Becoming Whole is a conversational podcast for men, women, and families seeking to draw nearer to Jesus as they navigate topics like sexual integrity, relational healing, spiritual health, and so much more.
Becoming Whole
Facing the Storms in Our Sexual Brokenness Like a Buffalo
What if the very storms you're desperately trying to outrun are actually the pathway to your healing?
Sexual brokenness, unwanted desires, betrayal, and shame can feel like overwhelming tempests in our lives. Many of us respond by running—numbing out through pornography, hiding in isolation, staying in denial, or blaming others. In today's podcast, we look at the unique actions of buffalo.
Unlike cows that flee from storms (only to spend more time in them), buffalo turn and charge directly into oncoming weather. With their thick, protective coats shielding their most vulnerable areas, they instinctively understand that the fastest way through a storm is straight through it. This behavior parallels the recovery journey perfectly.
While Scripture acknowledges there are appropriate times to flee from temptation (like Joseph running from Potiphar's wife), lasting healing requires the courage to eventually face our storms head-on.
Are you ready to stop running and start facing? The freedom and wholeness you seek await on the other side of your courage. Listen now to discover how to approach your recovery journey like a buffalo rather than a cow.
Free Resources to help you on your journey to Becoming Whole
👉Men's Overcoming Lust & Temptation Devotional
👉Women 21-Day Prayer Journal & Devotional - (Women overcoming unwanted sexual Behavior)
👉Compass 21-Day Prayer Journal & Devotional - (Wives who are or have been impacted by partner betrayal)
Hey friends, welcome in to the Becoming Whole podcast. I'm AA Ron Taggart, a men's spiritual coach here at REGEN and one of the hosts of the Becoming Whole podcast. Can I just be real with you for a second? Some of you listening right now are in the middle of a storm so fierce that you're not even sure how you're still standing. You're carrying the weight of sexual sin, betrayal, unwanted desires and shame so thick that it feels like you'll never break free. So thick that it feels like you'll never break free. You didn't ask for this storm yet here you are and the easy thing would be to run, to numb out, to hide, to pretend that everything is fine and, if we're honest, there's probably been plenty of that already throughout your story. But what if the only way to healing is through the very storm you're trying to avoid, to avoid? Today's episode is about facing the storms in our sexual recovery like a buffalo, and it's about learning how to stop running, start facing and trust that God is bigger than whatever you're walking through. So let's get honest, let's get brave, let's dive in. So the first thing about weather is that we can't control it. We can't control the weather. We can't control physical. We can't control the weather. We can't control physical storms when they happen, whether it's tornadoes in the Midwest and I remember sitting on porches and just watching storms roll in when I used to live back in Michigan and Illinois so, whether tornadoes are rolling into the Midwest or hurricanes along the coast, or blizzards up north, where my in-laws got close to 200 inches of snow this winter, setting records for Michigan or monsoons overseas, the fact is that every geographic location has its own type of storm, and the same is true in life. Each of us has our own unique storms, different struggles, different triggers, different seasons of pain and temptation. And just like we can't control the weather outside, we can't control the storms that happen to us or that we go through. So if storms are guaranteed, if they're part of the terrain of both life and recovery, then the question isn't if the storm will come. The question is what are you going to do when it hits? And see? That's where things get real, because in the face of a storm, you and I, we have a choice we can either face it or flee from it. And that's where this powerful metaphor comes in, one that's stuck with me for years now and has completely reframed how I think, about recovery and the difficult things in life that we face.
Speaker 1:And this is a story of cows and buffaloes. Now, both are created by God, both live on the same plains, but when a storm shows up, they respond in radically different ways. So first let's talk about cows ways. So first let's talk about cows. When a cow sees a storm coming, their instinct is to flee. They start moving with the direction of the storm, trying to outrun it. But here's the thing Cows are slow and that storm inevitably catches up with them. And because they're moving in the same direction as the storm, they actually end up spending more time in the very storm that they're trying to outrun.
Speaker 1:Fleeing the storm maximizes the pain, the time and the frustration that they experience from that storm, and the same is true for you and me In our sexual brokenness. Fleeing looks like escaping into problematic sexual behaviors like porn and fantasy instead of confronting difficult emotions or wounds. Hiding in isolation and shame instead of being fully seen and known. Staying in denial by minimizing, rationalizing or spiritualizing our struggle, or blaming or shaming others instead of taking ownership for our behavior. Fleeing looks like anything that helps us avoid the pain rather than process it.
Speaker 1:Now, is fleeing always bad? Absolutely not. In fact, scripture tells us that there are times to flee, and we see it very clearly in Genesis 39. When Joseph fled from Potiphar's wife when she tried to seduce him, he did the right thing in trying to leave that situation. As soon as he was aware of where things were heading, he fled. He knew he needed to go.
Speaker 1:In 1 Corinthians 6.18, paul commands us to flee from sexual immorality. Similarly, in 2 Timothy 2.22, we're told to flee youthful lusts. And so, especially when it comes to some of the things that are sexual in nature, we sometimes need to flee to kind of get our wits about us, to kind of think straight, to just get out of that situation at all costs so that we can think clearly. And that's one of the things about the patterns of addictions, and when you're in the throes of an addiction you can't think straight, and there's brain science that backs that up, so that fleeing actually creates a little bit of a buffer to be able to begin to think straight. But it's not the end result. And even David fled from Saul when his life was under threat.
Speaker 1:So when our lives are under threat or there's a threat to our integrity, it's not necessarily a bad thing to flee. In fact, it may be required. But here's the thing about fleeing Even though it's sometimes necessary, it's a temporary but crucial survival tactic. Fleeing is not meant to be long-term. It's a short-term solution rather than a permanent strategy.
Speaker 1:And what happens after all the prolonged running from the storm? And what happens after all the prolonged running from the storm, even if we've managed to stay ahead of it for a time, the moment we stop running, we find the storm closer than it was when we started running. So what happens? When we spend our lives running like cows, we end up exhausted, discouraged and we remain stuck in the middle of the storm that we were trying to avoid. And that's the trap of sexual sin and brokenness. We flee into isolation, into fantasy, into porn, hookups, emotional entanglements, maybe even just denial, hoping to escape the pain. But the storm always catches up. The storm always catches up, and that's why I love what God teaches us through buffaloes.
Speaker 1:They do something radical. When the storm comes, they turn and face it. They turn and face it. They charge directly into the wind, into the thunder, into the thing every instinct tells them to avoid. Why? Because buffalo know instinctively that the fastest way through a storm is straight through it and they are built for it.
Speaker 1:Next time you take a look at a buffalo, I want you to pay attention to how it looks. They have thick, heavy fur around their chest and shoulders and head which really serves as kind of an armor against the wind and rain. Their bodies are literally designed to handle resistance head on. They don't waste energy running from what's coming. They lean into it. Seriously, take a look at a buffalo. Maybe pause right now. Look up a buffalo, just get this image in your head. And by running at the storm a buffalo minimizes the amount of time, pain and frustration that they experience from the storm. They go through the storm faster and I'd say that they even come out stronger.
Speaker 1:And it's exactly what God invites us to do in our recovery to stop running and start facing. So if we apply that in our sexual recovery, we know that we can't outrun our brokenness, we can't outrun our trauma, we can't outrun our pain or our shame or our patterns of sin. Sure, we can flee for a while and again, sometimes we should, especially in early recovery, when you need safety and space. But if you want deep healing, lasting healing, at some point we have to turn and face the storm. So what does that look like? Well, facing the storm might mean having a hard conversation that you've been avoiding. It might be sitting in the discomfort instead of reaching for an old coping mechanism, allowing ourselves to feel some of the pain, maybe some of the memories from trauma or different things that we've experienced, instead of unhealthy coping mechanisms when those things enter into our minds, possibly seeking answers to the why questions, instead of saying I don't know. And I remember early in my recovery when my wife would ask me some questions about well, why this and why that I didn't have the answers and I also didn't have the answers for. So that made me feel worse and my shame kind of took over and I tried to control that situation with anger took over and I tried to control that situation with anger. And so, instead of you know that coming out sideways towards my wife, a better response would have been, you know, to say something like I don't, I don't know or I don't have the answers to that, that question yet. But I'm going to work towards trying to figure out why, so that I can come back and let you know what I'm discovering.
Speaker 1:Facing the storm might look like walking through a spouse's betrayal, maybe doing something like a full disclosure. It might look like owning your relapse instead of hiding it, or grieving the losses instead of numbing them, leaning into the accountability and community and vulnerability. And sure it's harder, it's messier, but it's real and it's lasting. Because the truth is, you don't get to choose whether you have storms. The only choice you get is how you respond and, even more specifically, when you respond. More specifically, when you respond, will you face the storm now head on and begin moving toward healing, or will you try to outrun it, only to find yourself stuck in it longer than necessary?
Speaker 1:There's a really powerful story in Numbers 21, 4 through 9 that shows us this truth. The people of israel were traveling through the wilderness, tired, discouraged, angry, and they started to complain against god and moses. They said things why have you brought us out here to die? There's no food, there's no water. This is terrible, just this constant grumbling, really even forgetting what they've just been delivered from. And so, after all these different complaints and there were a number of times, um, where multiple, multiple, um israelites are complaining, so in in response to this, scripture says that god allowed poisonous snakes to come among them, and many were bitten and actually died.
Speaker 1:But then God made a way for healing. So he instructs Moses to build this bronze snake and lift it up on a pole and anyone who was bitten could look at it and live Literally having to face it. They had to look at the very thing that had caused their pain, lift it up high to find their healing. And the same is true in recovery. Healing doesn't come from ignoring pain. It comes from facing it honestly and lifting our eyes to the one who can heal us. Jesus himself referenced this moment in John 3, 14-15, saying that just as Moses lifted up the serpent in the wilderness, so must the Son of man be lifted up that whoever believes in Him may have eternal life.
Speaker 1:Facing your storm, your sin, your brokenness, and looking to Christ is the pathway to healing. So I want to ask again how do you respond to the storms in your life? Which direction are you heading? Are you like the cow, trying to outrun the inevitable, making the storm last longer? Are you ready to be like the buffalo, turning, facing and trusting that God will carry you through? Just like the buffalo, you were made to face the storm. You've been equipped by the Spirit of God, and he tells us that we are not alone. Scripture says that he will never leave us or forsake us, and so, no matter how difficult that storm is, I think the most comforting thing to know is that you are not alone, and the clearer skies that you're longing for, and the clearer skies that you're longing for, they're just on the other side of your courage and walking through that storm with Jesus.
Speaker 1:Before we close today, I just want to pray over you, god. You see every storm we're walking through. You know every place where we are tempted to flee, to hide, to run away. Abba, father, give us the courage to face the storms in our lives. Strengthen us with your spirit, the storms in our lives. Strengthen us with your spirit. Armor us with your love and steady our feet to move toward healing. Help us not to fear the pain but to trust that you are with us in it. Lift our eyes to you, the one who brings us true healing and hope. Abba, teach us to be like the buffalo bold, steady and full of trust. We surrender our storms to you, father. Lead us through with your kindness and your grace. It's in Jesus' name that we pray, amen. Thank you so much for being with me today and until next time. Friends, keep facing the storm. There is freedom on the other side.
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