When Porn Feels Like The Only Option In Marriage

“I watch porn because my wife won’t have sex with me” sounds like a blunt confession, but it’s usually a doorway into something much bigger: intimacy, rejection, power, trust, and what we believe sex is actually for. We sit with that statement pastorally and honestly, and we ask a hard question many couples avoid: when sex disappears in a Christian marriage, what is the wise, loving, God-honoring next step?

We walk through why sex is more than a physical outlet. It’s connection, “knowing,” and covenant communion. Then we slow down in 1 Corinthians 7, a passage that often gets quoted to demand sex, and we add the missing context: Paul is offering concession in a sexually broken culture, not giving a license for coercion. We also discuss the reality that a sexless marriage can signal deeper issues like pain, postpartum recovery, trauma, resentment, or relational rupture, and that healing usually requires patience and care rather than pressure.

If this conversation helps you, share it with a friend, subscribe for more, and leave a review so others can find it. What part of the topic do you want us to unpack next?

If your marriage has been impacted by a husband’s struggle with sexual sin and the pain of betrayal, you don’t have to face it alone. We offer coaching and an annual healing group called Restore to More designed specifically for couples on this journey. Get support as you pursue growth, deeper satisfaction in Jesus, and real healing and repair—so your marriage can flourish again, including your sexual relationship.

Free Resources to help you on your journey to Becoming Whole:

👉Men's Overcoming Lust & Temptation Devotional
👉Women 21-Day Prayer Journal & Devotional - (Women overcoming unwanted sexual Behavior)
👉Compass 21-Day Prayer Journal & Devotional - (Wives who are or have been impacted by partner betrayal)

Transcript

The Claim And The Stakes

SPEAKER_00 0:18

I watch porn because my wife will not have sex with me. This is a statement that we hear uh in the years of ministry we've done. Josh, I'm coming up on five years as a coach here at Regen, and I think you've been with us uh maybe 25 or more years. So we're coming with 30 years of talking to men and women, but especially men, about these types of questions, these types of statements, really. I watch porn because my wife won't have sex with me. So Josh and I are gonna unpack that. I'm James Craig, uh director of projects and spiritual coach at Regent, joined by Josh Glazer, our executive director, and also a spiritual coach. And so again, we want to be uh entering these waters, uh difficult waters as pastorally as we can. But Josh, I want to start with this question. How is this statement about sex? And how is the statement actually about something else?

Sex As Communion Not Release

SPEAKER_01 1:17

Man, just throw me a slow pitch to start. How is it about sex? How is it about something else? Um uh I'm not entirely sure if you have something in mind with the question, but I'll I'll say this that I I think whenever we're talking about sex, whenever we're talking about sex, we are always talking about something else. And I mean that in two ways. One one is that uh culturally we we've all been drinking really skewed waters about the nature of sex, what sex is, what it means to be sexual, what it means to be sexual with someone else. And so I think all of us are in a in a in need of discipleship in the area, discipleship from the Lord in in the area of learning how do we manage, how do we walk with, how do we carry our sexual desires, and and what is what is God's heart for the way our sexual relationship with a spouse would look like. And on a basic level, I think an easy way into that is always whenever we're talking about sex, we're actually talking about relationship. So in the beginning, when God created male and female and they were naked without shame, and the two became one flesh, that's the biblical way of talking about them having sex, but so much more than just two bodies coming together. It really was designed by God to be a communion. And so as whenever we're talking about sex culturally, it can often be just kind of this almost like you know masturbation with two people. But I think God's heart for sex is it's relational. So we we we know that people turn to sex in unhealthy ways because of wounds they experience relationally, um, which is I think in some ways the kind of a the heart's attempt at healing itself without realizing that it's it's running to a false kind of relationship. So yeah, so that so when someone is having asking this question, you know, I I I go to porn because my wife wants to have sex with me, you hear in that statement there's a there's relationship trouble, there's something relationally going on. And yeah, let me just I'll stop there.

SPEAKER_00 3:24

So this isn't just about the genital act, this isn't just about pleasure. You know, one thing we often come to, Josh, and I I first learned this in our Awakened Through Sixty program. Sex is about creation. You say it a little differently in the program, but sex is about creation, you know, co-creating with God. It's about connection, connecting with our spouse in this holistic way. Uh, Hebrew word yada comes to mind, to know. Like you're saying, it's not just, I mean, off some translations will actually say uh Adam knew his wife and they conceived. Some will say Adam had sex with his wife. But here's the challenge: that Hebrew word is so packed. That idea of me of knowing another person is more than just sex, as our post-sexual revolution minds think of it. It's this fullness of intimacy. So it's about sex is about creation, it's about connection, it's also about identity. It's about um who who we're made to be as male and female. And so I appreciate how you kind of immediately take us back a little bit to say this isn't just this isn't just about the genital act in marriage. As important as that is, and we want to talk about that today, this is actually about bigger, broader challenges, perhaps, when it comes to connecting with one's spouse.

SPEAKER_01 4:42

Yeah, absolutely. And and I can hear, I mean, even as you um you're reflecting back some of what we're talking about or what where we've started, I can hear some of our listeners say, Yeah, but hold on, like don't don't get all deep with on me. Like I'm I am just longing for sex. We're made for sex with with our spouses, and it's not happening in my marriage. And so what am I supposed to do? Or like where am I supposed to take that? Or at least I'm not having an affair. Uh, I mean, uh I don't know, you maybe you have some other other statements that people have made. Like, what's what's the rationale that somebody would throw into that statement?

SPEAKER_00 5:18

Well, part of it, can I just can I go to part of the heart of this, Josh? Comes right out of 1 Corinthians 7. Can I go there? Yeah. This is a tricky passage. Um, I'm just gonna read it right out of the NIV. Um Paul says in 1 Corinthians 7, starting at verse 1, now for the matters you wrote about, I guess the Corinthians were writing to Paul about sexual struggles. For the matters you wrote about, it is good for a man not to have sexual relations with a woman. But uh the and he's quoting them, I guess. There's a quotation there. Then he goes on to say, but since sexual immorality is occurring, each man should have sexual relations with his wife, and each woman with her own husband. The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. The wife does not have authority over her own body, but yields it to her husband. In the same way the husband does not have authority over his own body, but yields it to his wife. Do not deprive each other except perhaps by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come uh this is toward the end of the paragraph, um, then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. I say this as a concession, not as a command. I wish all of you were as I am, but each of you has your own gift from God. One has this gift, another has that. Such a tricky passage. And the reason I actually wanted to read it, um, read that paragraph in its fullness is because this is so often what comes to mind when I'm walking with men who are in marriages that are what you might call a sexless marriage. It's been months or even years sometimes, um, between times where uh spouses have had sex. And so they uh pull from this passage, sometimes in a way that can be uh in a demanding way, like, look, you're disobeying what Paul's saying here. Uh sometimes it's actually also just like the sadness and grief of like, look, we're made for each other. We're this is actually a place where Paul says, instead of going to sexual morality, go to your your spouse. And yet, as you were saying, Josh, I think Paul would also agree with you that if sex is just about this physical release thing and just about the pleasure, of course it is pleasures involved, and that's a good gift from God. But if it's just about that, we might not actually be seeing our spouse. We might not be you dyeing our spouse, we might not be knowing them in that holistic way. Any initial thoughts on this?

SPEAKER_01 7:45

Yeah, it's beautiful. Um, it is a tricky passage. I've heard it used the the same way. Interestingly, and I'm not pointing any fingers here, but interestingly, I think that usually when I when I've heard that passage quote quoted, it's by a man saying to his wife or wanting to say to his wife, like, look, Paul says you don't have authority over your own body, like you're supposed to have sex with me. I I I want to just push back a little bit there and give a little context. First of all, I I love that you ended with uh I say this as concession, not command. Paul is not laying out in 1 Corinthians uh 7 a vision for the ideal sexual relationship between husband and wife. He is talking about uh a husband and wife in a in a sexually addicted, sexually perverse culture and making concession for them, I believe, to grow in Christ-likeness. Not this is not the end, this is not the bar, this is the this is w meeting them where they are in this in this moment. And we can even look back at 1 Corinthians 6 to get a little bit more of his framework about sex. But secondly, the the statement, the wife does not have authority over her own body, uh, the husband does, that was that's the the culture in Corinth. That's what everybody would have been like, yeah, we already know that. The the revolutionary part, the more instructive part of that statement was Paul saying the husband does not have authority over his own body. And because the wife has authority over his body. That was the the if if there's anything that stands out to that to the Corinth audience, it would have been that part. Like, wait, what? Like, so so really the emphasis, I think it's fair to say the emphasis of Paul in that moment is husbands, you don't have the authority over your body. This is something you have your body is to be laid down for your wife in the same way that you've always understood that her body is going to be laid down for you. So I think it's just a little bit of a different reframe for husbands and wives. It doesn't answer all the questions of like, wait, yeah, we're supposed to be coming together and it's been six months, it's been a year, it's been two years, it's been years and years. Like, what it what am I supposed to do with that? So, but I I just want to I want to point out, I guess, that in number one, uh Paul's not answering all our questions about what this is supposed to look like. Uh and he he is saying we're not to deprive each other. And so uh what do we do with that? What do we do with that?

SPEAKER_00 10:17

And interesting is it yes, and let me answer that profound question now. Um what's interesting too, Josh, is um Paul also says, like, even in his mind, and I think you can almost hear him saying, okay, but the Lord kind of told me otherwise. He's like, I wish that all of you were as I am, single. Yeah, I wish that all and I'm adding that word single in, but I I believe that's uh implied by the context. And so think about that for a second, friends. We are uh we do need to talk about um the importance of coming together in sex. And if there's barriers, if there's trauma from your past, if there's and that's often what it is, by the way. There often is trauma. If a wife is like, I'm unwilling to have sex for this amount of time, or a husband. I mean, this can go either way, but we just again, primary primary context is men who are struggling with their wives. There could actually be a deeper healing. And this could even be an impetus to say, hey, honey, I really actually care about you more than just the pleasure you give me. How do I participate in your healing journey? That actually might be a better approach because what you're actually saying is, and this is, I'm taking this from the life model, relationship with you matters more than the problem you're causing. Relationships are bigger than problems. Sexless marriage is a really painful problem for many men. But you matter more to me. If there's a heal, if there's a place of brokenness, if there's a place of abuse that you're working, you're you're you've experienced, I actually want to be part of the healing journey with that. So that is actually one of the places I want to invite men. We'll go further with that in just a moment. But Paul says, I wish you were all single. I wish that you guys all had this ability to give it all for the kingdom. Now, thank God that you see Paul wrestling there, because if everyone who's a Christian was single, we'd have no Christian kids. We would, Christianity probably wouldn't be what it is today in that sense, right? I mean, Paul, Paul recognized that he's this is a concession, or rather, Paul recognized that God's like, some people have this gift, some people have that gift. But think about that for a second. Paul, as a messianic Jew, a Jewish Christian, had a real a Pharisee had a super clear sense of morality when it came to his sexual passions and desires. What Paul, what we can surmise from Paul here is he is in a sexless lifestyle. He is in a uh non-genital union, uh non-sexual connection with other people lifestyle. And so whether it be because you're single, like Paul or Jesus, whether it be because your wife just had surgery or just had a child, there's actually reasons and seasons that one cannot have sex with their spouse. Again, if you don't have a spouse, you can, you know, there's no spouse to have sex with. But also, even in an emotionally healthy, safe marriage, there are physical reasons at times, like after birth or other situations where one can't have sex. So part of what Josh and I, and Josh, I know I'm reading your mind a little here because I've heard this so much from you. Part of what we want to admonish the men to is what does it look like to become the kind of man who doesn't believe that they need sex? What is how do how do we and that I mean, that's really what we're all about at regen is learning to be people of sexual integrity, integrated sexual lives, whole sexual lives. But that actually might be the more fundamental question. What is it, what does it look like to become that kind of man?

Sexlessness Points To Deeper Wounds

Porn As Betrayal And Prostitution

SPEAKER_01 14:26

That's fantastic. I mean, I love I love uh okay, let me just acknowledge some people are hearing that and going like, what? Oh, no, no, that's what not why I got married. Like, I that's not what I want. That's not what God wants for us, is it? We're gonna come back to that. Uh, but I love that you're pulling in who the author of the statement is. And again, even if, even if, let's see, like even if the Lord is like, yeah, I actually I want your wife to have sex with you, it does not come by command. Like Paul is like, this is not a command. I'm not giving anybody a command here. Like, um and you're not gonna help your marriage heal. You're not gonna uh by through through force, through command, through coercion, through um, you know, beating somebody over the head with this your the spiritual idea of you know husbands and wives are supposed to have sex together. I think part of what you're bringing up, James, and and this would be a good pivot point for us, is the the sexlessness of your marriage is a is a sign of something deeper going on. It itself is not the exclusive problem. It's a it's evidence of a problem. And you you gave a couple there. It might be that there's there's a physical reason why why a wife does not want to have sex. There's something painful going on for her, there's something that she's been through physically, uh that that's just the the real situation. It could be that there's uh some issues from her past, even pre-marriage, that have kicked up for her and that are making that's making sex either emotionally or physically very difficult. It could be something in your marriage that's made uh it feel like this is not something I I want to do. And so where where and how does a husband invite his wife towards healing? And this is tricky ground. I mean, you know, you're probably gonna need some help through this because even even your statement earlier, James, of like, uh, I want to see you heal, that's what I'm about here. I'm about you being whole, not just about you know, quote unquote getting sex from you or treating you like a sexual outlet. For some wives who've been treated that way, either past or present, uh, that's gonna be a hard sell. Like, really? Really? You really want my healing? You don't it sounds like you just want my body. Uh but there, but and and I didn't mean to say that, like, or I wasn't planning on saying that like that, but that is such an important piece right there. Like, in what way do you find in yourself, husbands, do you find in yourself that that you want your wife's body and how her body makes you feel more than the whole of her? Because something else is going on in her heart, something else might be going on in her neurochemistry that needs attention and care right now. And are you willing to to to embrace the whole of her, quote unquote embrace the whole of her, including the places that are wounded or hurting or or even potentially embittered? Are you are you willing to walk with her as a whole being right now? And that brings us into the territory of love. So anyway, where would you take that, James?

SPEAKER_00 17:27

Well, one other category is if if pornography has become known, right? If if you've been found out, um, which is usually off, it's often how it happens, that there's a discovery by the wife. It can be easy to get really defensive in those places, to be like, hey, you have not been having sex with me. What else am I supposed to do? I mean, these are real things that men, men might say. But I want us to recognize for a second, um, this is a quote out of unwanted. I'm forgetting the exact page number, but he's actually quoting someone else. Jay Stringer's quoting someone else who says, pornography is pictures of prostitution. Pornography is pictures of prostitution. And so, yes, on a horizontal plane, if you will, um it does make a difference that you are not fit being physical with someone else. But in a in in I'd say probably in God's eyes, the lusts in our hearts, the lust we we do on a screen and the lust we might do with another person are not fundamentally different. They're just different, maybe, I don't know, uh places on the tree. If the roots are lust and the fruit is ultimately death, wherever you are in that tree, it's still the same tree. It's still a tree that doesn't give life. And so I just want to just recognize that betrayal dynamic for just a moment and say many, many who are listening would say, I would never uh cheat on my wife physically. I'd never see a prostitute, I would never do something like that. But pornography is pictures of prostitution. It really is. I mean, these people are being paid to have sex, and you're watching those pictures. Um, and Josh and I have been there ourselves, and so we recognize this with a humble heart to say there isn't an utter fundamental difference. And this is not more fuel to say, therefore, we hope you never end up in a restored and sexual marriage, or you know, restoring, seeing your marriage restored and um the sexual element restored. But but if we can recognize some of the gravity of even quote unquote just pornography, it might actually give us a little bit more empathy to recognize these issues aren't just uh what we're doing with our eyes, so to speak. It's it's a deeper heart place that our wife is recognizing in us.

SPEAKER_01 19:42

Yeah, in my experience, uh it it does seem that that women have a have a more instinctive connection point between what we do with our eyes and and where our hearts are than a lot of men do. Like that statement, I would never have said I would never cheat on you. Uh I I think a lot of women have a have a harder time uh and I and I I do think it tends to be more God's perspective on this, but have a harder time kind of going like, but you did. I mean, you are you're how could you say that when you are actively looking at choosing to uh to engage sexually with these images of other women? Like, how am I supposed to feel about that? Like, so I think that's a growth curve, it's another just kind of indicator for for for men. Like, yeah, I I need I need healing. I need to reconnect my own heart with how I how I how I am with my body and how I am with how I treat other people's bodies. Yeah. So it's it's it's hard, it's hard ground, but maybe another way of saying it, James, would be this that um we need to recognize the places that we are. And this is again, there's invitation here uh to to grow. In what ways are we are we viewing our our wife as a as an outlet for our sexual wants and desires, versus in what ways are we treating our wives as people to be loved, people to uh for whom we are we are that to that we are that we are intended, designed to treat with dignity, to protect, to care for, to nurture. Um and that's part of why at the beginning of this podcast I said something about how we all need to grow in the area of of sexuality, because we've we've been so trained by a pornographic culture, but like men, men and and women too, do you have a vision of sex as something that is that is loving, that is self-giving and not just kind of mutually taking from the other, mutually receiving from the other? Uh, do you have a vision for for sex as being something akin to a form of giving of yourself for the other person's good? Not just their pleasure, but their good. And if not, that's I'm not pointing a finger at you, like it's an area where I'm still growing, but can we invite the Holy Spirit in there? Like, Lord, show me what like you've created me for love and you've created sex to be a part of love. What I'm not sure I have a vision for that. Help me to catch that because I don't know that I do.

Fasting Patience And Self Giving Love

SPEAKER_00 22:13

Yeah, I think what we're beginning to invite you into is another thing that Paul said that is so fundamental to how we see our ministry. What does it look like as men to lay down our lives in love? The way Christ laid down his life for the church, as Paul talks about in Ephesians 5. So, again, we want to recognize um not all of you are even struggling with pornography. Maybe it's years ago that you struggled and you've done a ton of work to get to a healthy place with your sexuality, and still sex is not coming the way you had uh hoped or anticipated. You might be in a place where you are actively indulging, and there's a there's a push pull thing of like, again, I I blame my wife, so I use this as an outlet. But to all the men listening, we want to invite you into. Um, what the fruit of the spirit in Galatians 5, just to keep pulling from Paul, just the the Paul train today. One of the fruit of the spirit after love, joy, and peace is patience, also translated long suffering, also translated forbearance. Think about that term long suffering. To suffer long, not a fun term, not my favorite term. Um, but part of what God is calling us into is if Jesus is waiting for us, if Jesus is got this long view of human of the human heart, thank God, if he recognizes that even if we have a new heart in Christ, there's still old heart stuff at play. If if we're looking to him for patience and all those things, how much more are we called to ask him for help to give us patience for our spouse? So I just want to bring up a couple ideas. Um, men, what would it look like to consider something drastic like fasting for your wife? Dedicate a day or multiple days or a meal every week or something instead of eating, to pray, to pray for breakthrough in this area, to pray that God would give you a heart holy for her among women, and that God would give her a heal, more and more healed heart. How loved might she even feel about that? I mean, whether or not you let her know that's between you and the Lord. But what could it look like to actually contend as the prayer, the man who's meant to lead in prayer, to lay down his life in part by leading in prayer? What could it look like to even introduce something like fasting? Which by the way, if you're also struggling with sexual sin, Josh, I remember someone came up to you after you gave a talk one time, I think it was on fasting, and they were like, hey, you didn't mention how helpful fasting is for overcoming addiction. And you're like, yeah, like there's something about holding ourselves back from things that aren't inherently bad, food, right? Uh, or I mean, there are other forms of fasting, but especially thinking about food. What could it look like to actually deprive yourself intentionally of food, teaching yourself, I don't need man will not live on bread alone. I don't need sex the way our culture has taught me I need sex. Um, and again, not to then let go of uh contending for your marriage, but actually to be contending in prayer and fasting or whatever for the coming together of you and your wife, for breakthrough in your own areas of struggle. But even if you're past some of those or have experienced a lot of healing for your wife's areas of struggle, the things that whether it's the the remnants of the betrayal that she felt when she found out you were looking at porn or whether it's past struggles in her own life, what could it look like to actually put that kind of like money with where your mouth is and do an act of love like that?

Suffering Satisfaction In Jesus Closing Prayer

SPEAKER_01 25:40

Yeah. I mean, you're getting into some graduate level kind of responses to it, but I I think the the heartbeat behind all of it is includes the laying down of kind of the idolatry of sex, that that somehow sex is the the ultimate experience, and and and to go without it means I'm uh I'm missing out. Now, I I also want to be clear, like God's heart is that marriages would be healthy, yes, that the relationships between husbands and wives would be healthy and restored, and that sex is a is a part of that mutual self-giving love that each can experience this from the other, and it's a beautiful, wonderful part of marriage. So to contend for it without demanding it, without insisting it's this is gonna happen for me, nobody wants to be in a situation where the marriage is wounded or someone's physical body is wounded in such a way that you you're in in a marriage and and unable to have sex. But uh, if you find yourself in a marriage like that, in in what ways might you actually can I can I walk just through I just just a few different kind of points? So if you're um I I hope this adds a helpful reframe, but but but one is just that you hear us on the basic level that your your wife or your husband for that matter is is not just meant to be a sexual outlet for you. This is not God's heart. Sex is meant to be a subcategory of self-giving love in the context of the covenant between husband and wife. And so if you find yourself in a sexless marriage, then a couple thoughts. One is it's an indicator of some other problem, physical problem, an emotional problem, a relational problem. Are you willing to help foster healing in whatever area you can there, if possible? Because it as much as it depends on you. Secondly, in what ways is your own kind of response to a spouse not having sex with you, kicking up your own feelings of rejection, your own, your own feelings of being unwanted, that's a great opportunity to get after further healing for you. Like, oh wait, I mean, can can I feel valuable? Can I feel uh lovable, even even as an experience, this this rejection for my spouse? Can I find some of that? And you're gonna need some other people in your life for that, but certainly press into Jesus for that. And guess what? Jesus, the bridegroom, knows what it's like to have a spouse who spurns him. And so there's some he he gets it and he can help you uh to to to have a sense of solidity in yourself, which you'll need if you're gonna love your spouse in that space. So much more we can say about that. Um it's also uh along with that, it's an opportunity for you to grow. It's an opportunity for you to grow in in the virtue of love. And so, in what way might you view this season, however long it is, as an opportunity for you to grow in a Christ-like love that's willing to lay yourself down for the sake of your spouse? Fasting is one example of that. It's a it's a willful choice to say, I'm gonna lay down this desire for your sake, not so that I can have sex with you. Um you can, I mean, you can tell Jesus that. Like, Lord, I'm longing for sex. That's he gets it. But um, but but would you be willing to contend for her sake, regardless of the outcome, that whether it's what you what you want or not, just to see her gr have more healing. And then I think the other the other piece of that that's that I hope you hear behind all of this is like it or not, like when we go through suffering, and none of us want to go through suffering, whether you know being in a war-torn place or poverty or loss of job or a sexless marriage, or fill in the blank a kid who's who's injured or whatever. Um, each of those opportunities because of the cross is an opportunity to grow in intimacy with Jesus. And I remember I used to w a woman who used to work with us, Kit, she would talk about how much her relationship with Jesus grew through times of suffering. And every time I hear her talk about it, I'd be like, Oh, Kit, like I believe what you're saying, and I don't want to have to go through what you're talking about in order to grow closer to Jesus. But but I think saints throughout the ages can testify that should suffering come, uh, it can always be an opportunity to deepen intimacy with Jesus and to find life from him regardless of your situations. Not find life from him so that your situation gets better. That would be great. We can pray for that. But also even in situations that don't get better, uh, to find there's actually life and peace and joy that that exceeds what you can find in whatever it is that you that you that you're after. So there's lots of room here for something good, even through the hard.

SPEAKER_00 30:26

And and just to be real with y'all, it is hard. I mean, it's just like finding satisfaction in Jesus can feel so elusive sometimes. Moses uh in Psalm 90, this is uh one of the one or two Psalms ascribed to Moses. He has this awesome, just direct prayer to the Lord. Psalm 90, 14, satisfy us each morning with your unfailing love, so we may sing for joy to the end of our lives. So, friends, we want to invite you, as fellow believers, as fellow followers of Jesus, we're on a pilgrimage of satisfaction. And the world, the flesh and the devil, this old system of being, this fallen world points to all these things that give us maybe temporary satisfaction or even pseudo-satisfaction, like a false satisfaction. But what we're actually after is being satisfied in Jesus, feasting on the bread from heaven, feasting on his body. And so, Josh, I just want to end with this prayer. This is actually from St. Francis Xavier, one of the first uh missionaries to Japan. And it's a prayer that I actually prayed this morning. That's probably part of why it's on my mind. It's I love to pray this prayer because again, it's so honest and direct. Um, but let me just pray this over all of the all of those listening, whether this conversation was directly applicable because you're a husband in the situation, a wife in the situation, or whether you're just listening along, thinking about others in your life. Prayer goes like this Oh God, grant that we may desire you. And desiring you, seek you. And seeking you, find you, and finding you be satisfied in you forever. Pray all of this in Jesus' name. Amen.